Best of, Worst of… screw ’em! It’s time to sink through the mire towards the stuff down there nestled under the surface. Past the big hits, cult classics, and respected middle-tier stuff where the filler lives. Maybe even a little closer to the bottom than the top. Treacherously close to the bombs, the stinkers, and the abominations. Films that not only don’t get love but don’t really even deserve love.
Except here. So with that we bring you… Ten Mediocre Films We Can’t Help But Embrace.
Note: Each of these films is embraced by a single editor. These are not committee decisions, not are they representative of one unified CHUD.com editorial focus. Each author is on their own.
Day One – The Peacemaker
Embraced by Nick Nunziata (email address for hate mail)
Director: Mimi Leder
Writers: Michael Schiffer, Leslie Redlich Cockburn & Andrew Cockburn (source article)
Starring: George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Marcel Iures, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Holt McCallany, Aleksandr Baluey.
U.S. Box Office: $41,256,277 (Budget: $50,000,000)
Rotten Rating: 45%
IMDB Rating: 5.8/10
This is not a very good movie. It was made before Mr. Soderbergh’s graces allowed George Clooney to keep his head still and focus on acting rather than coasting on his oodles of sex appeals. It’s directed by the woman who Deep Impacted us. The master villain is a piano teacher. Nicole Kidman is at her very blandest. It is a Tom Clancy by way of James Bond thriller that doesn’t have the crackerjack storytelling of the former or the glitz of the latter.
It’s mediocre through and through. And it’s fine.
It’s all fine because George Clooney knocks it out of the park as a ruthless badass of a man. Seriously, he is as much a man as action as any of them out there whether they be called Bourne or McClane. His film isn’t nearly as good and it’s definitely showing that even in its best days it works in a vacuum. It’s already a relic in 2010.
mode is just so damn good. He’s vicious and blunt and absolutely
condescending to all around him just so long as the good guys win. The
kind of guy you want out there. Yeah, he sends Ford Explorers as bribes
to bad people, but the end result is Joe America in Deer Lick getting
his Starbucks without a hitch every morning. The best scene takes place
about 45 minutes into the film after Clooney’s Tom Devoe has already
tortured a diplomat in his own damn office. A car chase happens, and a
Mercedes becomes a kung fu weapon for Clooney as he drives over faces,
skids sparks onto gasoline, and outsmarts numerous foreign types while
Nicole Kidman bounces around like a sack of bitch.
I’m not convinced that Clooney is the titular character, though. Otherwise the title would have been The Piece Maker or He Thinks You’re Not Dying Fast Enough or Bad Mood Hero or Guy Will Drive On You.
Either way it’s totally mediocre and I totally defend it.
Buy this movie despite common sense’s grasp on you.
Discuss this series on our message boards smartly, or really dumbly on the talkback below.
24 comments
Haven't seen this in years, but I distinctly remember the moment it goes from sort of middling to mega action when he tortures that guy in the office. Sort of a proto-Bourne, but yeah, definitely an averagely great movie
Equilibrium.
This film is one a guilty pleasure, for the badass looking Russian red-goggled soliders who infiltrate the nuke train at the beginning and for Hans Zimmer's manly, beefy score that almost never stops for large portions of the film.
IIRC the action scenes and badassery were added later. The car scene in particular – they brought in someone else to devise and direct it to give the film a pulse (it featured prominently in the trailers). Otherwise it's a talking head movie. They tried to position Leder as a Spielberg protege when developing a stable of Dreamworks regulars, but she's really just a middling TV drama director at heart.
Equilibrium truly is the perfect movie for this feature, good shout Cat from Outer Space.
mediocre films don't have ridiculously awesome and brilliant gun fights, so Equilibrium doesn't count. Plus it had great acting and a smart plot and was filmed well. Plus Tay Diggs was owned in 3 seconds.
This was actually an exciting movie at the time. One of very few to even TRY to deal with fallout from Eastern Europe. I'd definitely prefer it to the first Bourne film. In fact, I would probably put it in a double-bill with the equally mediochre-but-actually-good Sum of All Fears.
Clooney has definitely gone highbrow. He has turned away from the popcorn stuff that I live for. He still left us with 2 popcorn classics, From Dusk till Dawn and the Peacemaker. Clooney has an undeniable presence, can't we get this guy in a comic book movie? It's probably for the best, garbage popcorn flicks have sullied Nic Cage.
I remember catching this a year or two after it came out and being surprised at how good it was. Not the best, but a decent little action flick.
Good idea for a list. I always thought this got short shrift (I don't remember it faring so bad at the box office or reviewing so badly though, yikes) The espionage was actually pretty decent and down to earth for its day. There weren't really any films that took such care to be a bit more realistic and detailed with international terrorism at the time. Sure it's still an action thriller, but it's trying. And, as mentioned fits pretty well along side current trends.
You know what also might go well on this list (he says, pretending its not already laid out) and seems oddly ahead of its time? The Siege.
Great idea for a list, Nick. And I totally agree with your first choice. Been a fan of The Peacemaker since I saw it opening day way back in 1997. Still thoroughly love it. It's slow in patches, but Clooney is the man. The above mentioned scenes plus the helicopter/bridge scene and the chase scene in NYC are aces.
I remember seeing this on hbo, enjoying it and then it immediately evaporated from my brain. i recall clooney was badass and there was maybe an explosion involving stained glass?
wasn't this dreamwork's first release? sort of an odd choice to kick start a studio. Middle of the road action movie opening in september (in '97 september was a dead zone, it still sorta is). I think at the time First Wives Club held the record for biggest september opening ever with 16 mill.
"I'm not convinced that Clooney is the titular character, though." Aren't nukes the titular 'character'? As in, from some points of view, nuclear weapons have actually resulted in many wars not erupting for fear of mutual assured destruction (MAD)?
#13, the sentence you reposted wasn't intended to be on the nose. I know what the title refers to. I wanted to set up a few easy jokes, that's all.
lol this is the kind of article that makes me love reading chud every day – can't wait to see what Faraci has to say…
gattaca!
Not planning on watching this again, but was this the movie where the same set of numbers lead to co-ordinates and a flight number, or something equally ridiculous? That could have been from a different goofy spy movie.
Eff you #16! Gattaca is a masterpiece.
I seriously hope THE SHADOW is part of this series…
If I was a CHUD editor, in bizarro world, I would nominate CABIN FEVER. A perfectly just OK movie, as its surprises are almost precisely outweighed by the mundane – yet the film is obviously directed by the eyes of someone who is a bit, a bit, more of an auteur than the typical one of direct-to-video schlock.
Congo should be on the list. Bruce Campbell is attacked with eyeballs! 'Nuff said.
This is a great movie to jump off with. I saw it once in theaters and remember kind of liking it but I couldn't give any clear plot details (There's something about a bullet train, right?).
I saw this in theaters. I don't remember loving or hating it. I do remember watching it, though. However, I thought the car chase was great!
"He Thinks You're Not Dying Fast Enough" is a fucking brilliant title for an incredibly violent exploitation flick.
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