Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Item of the Day: Heidi Montag, late of The Hills and plastic surgeon’s table, wants to be in a shark move. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark…that she wrote herself.
God bless both Syfy and People magazine for the following: One of the characters Montag wants to play is “a lifeguard named Summer” in a script she wrote herself. “I am making the first 3D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a
small beach town and I save the day with my 3D boobs,” Montag says.
“I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!” And while that project has yet to be greenlit, Montag is as confident
as ever that she’ll make a splash in the film industry. Says Montag,
“I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female
mogul in Hollywood!”
I can’t possibly hope to add anything better than that.
11 comments
LMAO!!! The return of the grindhouse flick & awful 3AM Saturday movies after SNL…
If Devin ever wants to blame Cameron for something again, well…
whoever says that 3D is a gimmick and that art is somehow lost really needs to see this. 3D will really bring forth the major themes, she explained it all so eloquently above i believe, objectifying women by turning each frame of boob into its own object layer is long overdue. Bravo sweetie, your're an inspiration!
(head explodes)
This could truly work out to be a major break-out hit for her, and the budget would be miniscule for effects. Just Mo-Cap Spencer Pratt's teeth for the shark…
that's the problem….
"syfy"…don't call it that.
Heidi Montag is disgusting. Her Barbie Doll plastic surgery body does not attract me at all.
Alright…………………………….
If I'm going to see boobs in 3D on the big screen then I want them to be a nice big bouncy real pair thanks very much. The Final Destination really dropped the ball on that one, here was their chance to have some in-your-face boobage and they blew it. They blew it!! (to be read as Copland's De Niro)
Even the SyFy Channel won't want to air this. And its the damn SyFy Channel.
'Uh… Miss Montag… this script is only three pages long. And it's written in crayon. And you misspelt "3D".'
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