I figured in addition to the large List of Dumb columns that run a couple of times a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s absolutely no shortage of dumb shit out there in the world. Help keep this thing going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS LINK. Also, please spread the word through your Tweets and Facebook and MySpace updates.
Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like this is!
03/29 – Too young to see, just old enough to commission an ad.
Photo by Clay Young.
Recently driving through Florida I was astounded how many anti-abortion billboards there are. I mean, at least twenty between the Georgia border and Orlando. You know why, right? They need to ensure the next wave of Walt Disney World patrons. Or better yet, what if this is viral marketing for some new theme park…
All these ads give you facts about the little fellas brewin’.
“My heart is beating at blahblahblah days…”
“I have fingernails at blahblahblah weeks…”
“I can direct Jason Mewes at blahblahblah months…”
All trying to play on the gross-out factor. None of them just use simple logic:
“Kids can be great, even if you weren’t planning on one.”
“Give it a shot or maybe provide one to a family without one”
“Wanna use the HOV lane?”
But however you slice it, you should really not put words in the mouths of an 18 day-old embryo. Or your dick. Don’t put that in their mouths either.
7 comments
The Jason Mewes line killed me!
I give up. You win Nick. Chudfans campaign of terror has ended. I cannot in good conscience continue to read these. Its too sad and pathetic. Like watching kitties get hit by trains over and over again. Best wishes and lets just hope the powers that be never, ever let you produce a comedy!
"I can direct Jason Mewes at blahblahblah months…" Your about 192 months behind Kevin Smith… how many more will it take before you are capable?
I'm off to masturbate over my own cleverness & self-importance. Please don't miss me, all you loyal Chudfan fans. This has been, indeed, the happiest time of my life. Too bad for you I won't be spending any more time getting people to like me by ripping on writings that are out of my sense of humor range by a creator of a free website that I frequent even though I hate it. Cheerio!
Goodbye, Chudfan. You won't be missed. "Campaign of terror," indeed. Take this new free time you've opened up and use it to get over yourself.
Oh, where shall I find vitriol to spank to on my lunch break now that your oh so very clever bitching is gone, CHUDfan? Nick no doubt will miss your razor sharp deconstructions of his humor. So say we all.
lol
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