Last year, we brought you the ghastly news that there were plans afoot to remake the iconic Schwarzenegger bulletfest, Commando. Those plans seem to now be solidifying with word from Deadline that Fox has hired David Ayer to write and direct the new film. That part of the tale is encouraging, at least. I’m a fan of David Ayer the writer, and the man. As a former serviceman in the Navy, he’s served this country; and as a writer, he knows how to bring the grit and adventure to his scripts. Just re-watched Training Day for the first time in a long time and it still holds up nicely. So hearing that Ayer is on the job makes me a little less fearful on news of this remake.
However, overall, my feelings on the matter haven’t changed all that much: you can’t remake this film. The original film is not only a product of its time, being the “shoot first, shoot last and give-a-fuck about any questions” 1980s, but it was also one of Schwarzenegger’s defining action films of his career. A dizzying dervish of cartoonish violence, rippling muscles and a larger than life hero doing impossible things. The ’80s were about body counts, man; and if Arnold ever had a higher tally of fools he smoked than this film, I haven’t seen it. Nowadays, though, we’re getting legitimate body counts…our own, and that’s hard to put out of one’s mind.
Back then it was fashionable for movie heroes to leave a mound of corpses in one’s wake with impunity, a world-may-care attitude and no consequences. And we cheered them giddily for doing it. These days, it’s all about the very real morals and horrors of war. Back then we managed to slip through most of the decade with not that much direct military action. Today we’re mired in two very real and very costly wars. Back then, you could have Vernon Wells as a villain, chewing scenery like a teething baby does anything handy. Now we’ll probably get some serious villain, some serious hero and some serious situation. I’m sure Ayer will see to that and at least he can do it competently. But it just won’t be the same.
So again, you can slap that Commando tag on a new film, but it won’t really be Commando.
Thanks to Brian and Felix for the tips.
19 comments
This could've been three or four sentences.
…and you could've saved space by not posting that worthless comment.
Of course it could have been three or four sentences, but that's not the point of this site. They present movie news with their own often unique perspective.
Look at the asshole @1. He is a perfect example of what is wrong with commenters on this website. Bitching for the sake of bitching.
Dear first poster. I hope you die in your sleep and awake sucking Satan's greasy cock in hell.
Don't bother commenter #1. He's dead tired.
I had to check the credit on this one, because I thought it was well written. I figured it was Nick or maybe Devin.
Good job little Davey
5 trys
David got it spot on i think, Commando is a one off, and will always be there if/when the remake sullies its good name
Isn't Taken pretty much a current trend take on Commando?
Jesus… That is a really specific statement of hatred. You at least could have tied it in with Commando and said "I hope someone throws a steam pipe through your chest." Just saying…
Wow, look at Jonathan kissing ass. Hope it tastes like strawberry ice cream, brother.
Anyway, on topic, without the over the top body count and Schwarzenegger, what's the value of Commando? The story is generic. Fucking Hollywood, man. I hope some real players read this (not likely) and know that if you're involved with this stuff, you suck ass. We know you don't care since you don't care at all about making interesting movies, why didn't you guys just go into day trading or something?
remember when I promised I would kill #1 last? I lied.
Commando stands proud and tall as humanity's greatest achievement. A perfect storm of pure, crystalline genius. The power of the atom harnessed in celluoid form. These fools who talk of attempting to recapture that moment toy with primal universal forces they can't possibly hope to understand. They shall reap only their doom.
The plot of this movie has been done a million times. Badass gets daughter taken. Badass gets daughter back. Hell, Taken is a remake of Commando. Is the Commando "brand" really a valuable thing? Unless it's totally cartoonishly over the top, then I'm passing
Nobody's going to be watching Commando (or The Expendables or The A-Team) and thinking "I wish I could enjoy this, but I can't as long as our boys are still over there". Politics and moviegoing habits aren't as interconnected as most film studies graduates like to think they are.
People think all the Iraq war movies of the last few years failed because the subject matter is still too raw. Wrong. They failed because they're about the military and women don't like war movies. Same reason westerns don't make money. If you don't appeal to the female audience these days you're dead in the water, and it's nothing more complicated than that.
So for that reason alone, releasing a movie called Commando these days is a bad idea. Almost as bad as releasing one called The Losers.
You're a funny man, #1. I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
Screenwriters with originality: "Hey Hollywood–leave anything for us?" Hollywood: "Just remakes."
film won't happen.
In Cantonese, "Rae Dawn Chong" means hairy vagina.
#18, it means the same thing in English
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