Greatest review ever

Wtf? Please explain..

<standing ovation>
Your words…so moving.

Movie looks like shit anyways.

hahahahaha!!!

two weeks late and incorrect, congratulations you blogger extraordinaire.

BOOYAH ! NN Brings the honesty, bitches!

I could tell from the pathetic trailers, the skeletal and beyond overrated Angelina "Billy Bob's Bizzatch" Jolie was going to tank in this one.

I didn't buy a single moment of this shitfest's trailers and I'll eat a tub of actual salt before I'll even let this play on my home TV after its 9th HBO run in 2013.

I recently saw BEST WORST MOVIE and one of the best parts was that after there was a group of about 10 people who had just seen SALT demanding their money back from the manager. Long story short, the term "Only thing it salted was the wound of my raped butthole" was used loudly in a lobby and was socially acceptable.

i lost faith in you for a while but this restored hope.

awesome.

I don't think I've ever been so moved by a film review. Inspiring words.

slug's turn inside out when salt hits em, L2P

I for one am shocked that an action movie starring Angelina Jolie turned out not to live up to the hype. This has never happened before.

Why didn't you post this excellence a week ago?

Perfect!
(It's even better when part of my verification contained "qq").

NICK NUNZIATA: FTW!

Metacritic this right now.

best.review.ever

If anyone is interested, "Colin Fitz Lives" went On Demand yesterday. IFC Films finally bought it.

Thoroughly enjoyed this flick, felt her character borrowed invincibility from (the cartoon) Aeon Flux and went on a spree with a teeny token of Taken.

EPIC! The movie was SO worthless. Ebert has lost his damned mind. I am a converted Nick-fan after this review.

SALT is no less incoherent, no less plausible or badly directed than CLASH OF THE TITANS – or any other Hollywood movie which earned a 5 / 6 rating on CHUD. Have I misunderstood the review policy? (i.e. "geek" property starts with higher rating bias)

glad you're back.

How many reviews that look like this have you done where a male is the lead in the movie? I think we already know the answer.

Best review since Devin's Halloween! And, seriously, eff Angelina and her Bourne rip-off; retire already and quit it with the stupid scowling eyes and poofy face look.

Eh, it wasn't that bad. I mean, y'all are acting like it was an epicly bad movie. It was just a middle of teh road action movie.

#7 is full of shit. So is this oh-so-clever "review".

Brilliant review… Though after Empire gave it 4/5 and Total Film awarded it 3/5 i'll still be seeing it…
oh and FUCK your verification bullshit.

Nick, your amazing.

I will now only eat Vinegar chips. Renouncing Salt at all costs. My Blood Pressure thanks you Nick Nunziata. This review should be given to the American Heart Association.

Fuck.
Yeah.
This is why I come to CHUD.

Nick, you want credibilty in the world of film criticisim? This is not the way to go.
Like others have said before me, this site has reviewed far worse films. Why even bother creating this "review" in the first place?

Dude, come on!!!! You gave goddamn Transformers 2 a frickin' dissertation's worth of hateful criticism and now THIS? Are you off your meds again?

@#30: because it's late… and funny. NEXT QUESTION!
BTW: any good will garnered from this review was quickly spent on the shitty verification system

What if someone callously dismissed Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark like this? Shouldn't an aspiring producer conduct his business with a little more class? People are watching, dude. People are watching.

That's right folks, you can tell how good a movie is by its trailers. Yep. Makes it so easy.
The movie did not suck, and was on par with M:I 3 which Nick gave a really strong review to. It is slight, silly fun.
Anyhow, what am I doing here anyway? I hear there is a new, better website coming out in September. Something that will blow the craptastic site away.

The best review since Saw.

@30: I don't think Nick cares about 'credibility in the world of film criticism' – This awesome review is proof.

I thought SALT was fucking sa-weet! Go see it everyone. Support Kurt Wimmer! Greatest screenwriter alive!!