The
Film: Alien (1979) BUY IT
The Principals: The Good Scott Brother, Sigourney Weaver, Ian Holm, John Hurt, Giger’s Nightmare Cocks
The Premise: A group of scientists and ship operators awake from cryogenic sleep to find their hauling-vessel off course in the dark reaches of space. Obligated to investigate the strange signal that caused the ship to interrupt their hibernation, they stumble across an ancient ship, and an even more ancient creature. Also, everything looks like a dick.
TRIVIA: The first D.P. was fired for being unable to get Fossilized Alien Ancient and Massive Space Boner all into the same shot.
Is It Good: Alien is pantheon, there’s simply no argument. It is one of those films that has its place in horror and science fiction cinema sealed, and will remain there no matter what sequel/prequel/rapequel appropriates its imagery and characters. It’s also a film I didn’t completely appreciate until recently. A few viewings throughout the years always left me liking it, but wondering what the fuss is about. Since I never had the opportunity to see it as a kid and enjoy a more primitively frightening experience with it, I looked for the wrong things in the film when I did finally see it. It was until I viewed it as an adult (and in a theater with a group of people) that it’s intellectual and psycho-sexual terrors occurred to me, and that I appreciated the level of craftsmanship behind the film.
“Damn, I was going to study that blood-covered Mutant Penis-Beast!”
It is a film that operates on the most simple of plot structures, but is so rich in tone, imagery, character, and dread that it feels like a fully epic experience to watch it.
Is It Worth A Look: Of course, and if you haven’t seen it, you must make it happen for yourself. A dark place in which to watch it is imperative. Sit back and let the film wash over you, and let your mind reel from the layered terrors. Be frightened of the dark void of space- this isn’t Star Wars, which inhabits a cosmos of danger, but one of adventure and closeness as well. This is Alien, a film where space feels empty. Cold. Sterile, until you awaken a lost organism that attacks, suffocates, envelopes, and pollutes, forcing you to play host to its horrific progeny.
“Who the fuck bukkake’d Ian Holm into headlessness!?”
Every form of the alien is a terror- the violating facehugger, the violent chest-burster, and the final devouring Xenomorph. This creature is truly horror royalty. If it’s not the violence, the darkness, or the paranoia that gets you, then you’ll be put on edge by the blatant, defiled sexual imagery on display. DOS is also frightening. It’s easy to make jokes about the phallic tendencies of the production design, but there’s something about the boldness with which sexual imagery is appropriated into such a dark, murky setting that really puts you on edge. Watch it, and if you’ve seen it, watch it again. Remember why it’s a classic, and why no amount of sequels could ever tarnish it.
Dickhead
Random Awful:
25 comments
The thing that really blew me away was Giger. Or rather, his influence. At the tender age of ten, I mainly had issues of Famous Monsters and Starlog to refer to (not to mention the comic version of the film), and out of those a scraped up what Giger I could, astounded by his work. The last guy to do that to me was Frazetta, whose work adorned many of the Warren mags of the 70s. I must've done about 100 "alien studies" in oil pastel as a kid, frantically smoothing them out with my fingers trying to emulate Giger's aribrushed perfection.
WHY THE FUCK IS THE I COME IN PEACE TRAILER STILL SHOWING UP?!
Why is it that when things are dick-shaped it's instantly about dicks? Maybe dicks are dick-shaped because dick-shaped is just a generally useful shape in the universe. You could make a toroidal popsicle, but then it's just be a pain in the ass to eat. The fact that you make it dick-shaped doesn't mean the sugary treat is secretly about dick sucking. An alien bursting through a chest isn't necessarily about fucking. Sexual penetration is a subset of penetration in general, not the other way around.
Alien is a masterpiece. Truly one of the greatest achievements in cinema. It's hard to think of another film that is both epic and claustrophobic at the same time, filled with stunning imagery and completely intent on scaring the crap out of you. One of the most perfect films ever made. (The recently released "Director's Cut" isn't as good, and was only named that to make some extra bucks; stick with the original cut…which is how Ridley Scott really wanted it to be seen.)
Quite simply, and for even the biggest film school nerd in the world… ALIEN is perfect.
What, no love for Sigourney Weaver's furry pussy patch in those skimpy space panties? What kind of faggotry inhabits this review?!
To this day one of the most horrifying movies ever made. I know people prefer A2 to this, but I sure don't – the claustrophobia coupled with the absolute shock value of the chest burster AND Dallas buying it so early in the film (really? The CAPTAIN is dead?!) makes this THE paramount horror film.
I saw this opening week at the Cinedome in the OC in 1979 – and it scared the shit out of me like no other. The scene where Dallas buys it? I vividly remember seeing my tennis shoes HIGHER THAN MY HEAD as I got shocked out of my seat. LOVED that, loved the movie and still do.
#3 – I appreciate your general sentiment, but this is not the film to question in that regard. The imagery isn't just phallic either, there's lots of vaginal stuff in there. Shit man, it's a movie about an aggressive little bugger that face-rapes you, forces an egg down your throat, and makes you give birth to a walking acid-filled cock via chest cavity.
Yeah, this is the film where the phallic objects are truly about the cock and the gaping holes are, well…you get the picture. Go out into the universe and it will fuck you.
Nice. I hope you guys never ever ever mention ALIENS.
The navigator in screen grab #2 looks SATISFIED
I will always remember the first time I saw the trailer. Yeah, the movie is such a gem but the trailer was orchestrated to perfection as well. To this day, it can still mesmerize me (I just watched it again).
I wrote a paper about this film in college. What scared me the most wasn't the claustrophobia, but the feeling of complete isolation. Isolation void of anything even remotely familiar. Hell, even sailors marooned on an island get sunshine and the sound of the seas. I never put much thought into the sexual nature of the film, maybe it's because compared to some of Giger's other work, his overall artistic influence is almost nun-like in comparison. Also, I find dick jokes and comparisons juvenile. One way or the other, this film still gives the occasional nightmare. Great choice! Oooh! "I Come in Peace" trailer! Again!
#3: "Toroidal Popsicle" is the name of my noiserock band.
mother's voice is the best fucking thing about the entire movie.
The most horrifying scene is definitely when the alien rapes Lambert. The weird courtship dance it does and the noises, the noises! Good god. Just hearing it happen and then seeing her naked, mangled legs dangling there were enough to make my stomach do a flip.
This is the first movie I ever saw on the first video recorder my family ever owned.
It was a top-loading JVC with a corded remote.
Suffice to say I love the movie.
Yeah, i think some of you are reading into the phallic imagery a bit much. Granted, i guess its there (and beyond that, the face huggers do literally FUCK YOUR FACE), but I really never even thought about it until now. Regardless, ive seen this flick countless times since i was a kid and it still scares the shit out me! A near perfect movie. And i still love Aliens, for the record. Cock. teehee
I was about 6 when this came out but my Dad saw it (he'd have been about 27) and he became obsessed with it. He bought me this Alien model which was pretty fucking scary for a 6 year old (it had the extending jaws and the things coming out the back – fuck it was freaky). My mum let me watch it when it was on TV when I was 9 or 10 and it petrified me but I was just mad for it. I had the Heavy Metal illustrated version (with the Alien alternating between being 8 ft and 20 ft tall) and the illustrated screen play (with photos galore). This and The Thing are my perfect movies. Great article and for once a great comments section.
#16: Hell yes. The death of Lambert is one of the best examples in movie-dom of giving the audience just enough to let their imaginations run wild filling in the utterly horrific details.
More like Random Awesome.
"Of course, and if you haven't seen it, you must make it happen for yourself. A dark place in which to watch it is imperative. Sit back and let the film wash over you, and let your mind reel from the layered terrors. Be frightened of the dark void of space- this isn't Star Wars, which inhabits a cosmos of danger, but one of adventure and closeness as well. This is Alien, a film where space feels empty. Cold. Sterile, until you awaken a lost organism that attacks, suffocates, envelopes, and pollutes, forcing you to play host to its horrific progeny." This sounds like something you say to the guy you just invited over to your house after a Maple Leafs game, as you creep out of the closet wearing your vampire costume circa Bela Lugosi…and proceed to prance around the room behind your victim right before you hug his face with your cock and pump your seed into his chest cavity…
this is the first movie i ever remember seeing, I must have been 3 at the time. It didn't scare me, it intrigued me, grey aliens scared me more. I didn't watch it again until recently and whilst the alien isn't scary as opposed to an iconic creature, the film itself scared the shit out of me. what a masterpiece.
I actually didn't get to see this until 1982 when my parents took me (12) and my brother (15) to the drive-in to see E.T. Guess what, it was a double-feature that night. That's right, E.T. and Alien.
How is that for messing with a young mind?
First saw it at 14. I was unsettled from the credits. The docudrama style makes it all the more horrific. And yes, Lambert's death is the most horrific (after Kane of course). It also explains why the creature did not kill Ripley straightaway in the lifeboat – it was going to rape her like it had Lambert.
Comments are shown as archived from the original site; new comments are closed.