We’re entering a new age here at CHUD, with a refreshed stable of writers, a re-energized concentration of efforts, and a focus on consistent, knowledge-backed fun. To ring in this new era for the site we wanted to bring you a truly special, truly memorable, truly incredible list that characterizes what CHUD is about, and we think we’ve cooked up just the thing.

BODILY FUNCTION JUNCTION
The 25 Grossest, Most Execrable Moments in Film.

We’re here to explore the most depraved, flinch-worthy, vomit-inducing (or vomit-involving) moments ever put to film. We’re not interested in simple gore and viscera here… We’re looking for the shittiest, pusiest, cummiest, pukeiest, piss-filled scenes in the history of motion-pictures. Some will be huge, some will be small, but they’ll all be gross. We’ve also put an unprecedented amount of effort into pre-planning, scheduling, and dividing the effort for this list, so expect it to hit you every one of the next 25 weekdays (with a number of special surprises planned for the weekends!).

So without further ado, grab your nearest complimentary airsick bag (or maybe just a whole trashcan) and jump into CHUD’s newest list.

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DAY 10

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THE MOVIE?

Audition (1999)

Making his second appearance in this list, Takashi Miike brings us this cautionary tale of a man lookin‘ for love.  Hell, in a lot of ways it’s a sendup of the traditional American romantic comedy, except that the romance is quickly, and horribly, traded for a whole bunch of “WHAT THE FUCK!?”  Yeah, it’s Takashi Miike.  What do you expect?

The Setup:  Shigeharu Aoyama has just been poisoned after returning home from a particularly revelatory and disturbing trek to find his missing girlfriend.  In a rather dense and surreal dream sequence, he takes an expositional journey through her past traumas and manages to work in a bit of his own baggage.

Speaking of baggage, this is where we finally learn just what it was in that big burlap sack that hated the sound of the phone ringing.  It’s this guy:

And he’s hungry.

THE GROSS?

Bile.  Vomit.  Puke.  Barf.  Contained in (and sloshed over the side of) a dog bowl.

WHO DOES IT COME OUT OF?

This lovely young woman.  By the time this happens her sweet, innocent veneer has already been shattered and even though the impact isn’t QUITE as intense as it would have been earlier, it comes in the middle of this incredibly surreal, fucked up sequence – which adds a bit of weight on its own.  Even though she’s been exposed as a monster, Asami still carries herself with a grace and delicateness that almost betrays everything we’ve just seen – surely SHE couldn’t have done all of this, right?

And then she comes around the corner carrying a stainless steel dog bowl…into which she just made herself vomit.

WHERE DOES IT GO?

Into the belly of this handsome fella.  Curiously, he manages to lap this up even though his tongue is sitting on the floor in the waiting area of a tilted fish restaurant.  Because she chopped it out.  And then she left it at the scene of the homicide/dismemberment she performed on the owner of said tilted fish restaurant, along with this guy’s missing fingers and his ear.  Yeah, this poor guy’s had better days.

ANY CASUALTIES?

Just your appetite and your desire to get back in the market, if you‘re single.

HOW GROSS IS IT?

Ya know, it’s pretty fucking gross, but in a rare moment of restraint, Miike takes a less-is-more approach here, letting sound design work in place of visuals.  While Ayomi looks on in horror as the man in the bag starts begging for his meal, you hear gagging.  Then wretching.  Then faint, subtle splashes.  Then more of the same.  And again a third time.  All you have to do is look at the pure shock and horror on Ayomi’s face and your own stomach starts to turn.  It’s a kick in the groin after the gut punch that was Bagman’s big reveal and once you realize that this is his daily nourishment – this is how she feeds him every day – you’re left nauseated.  Not just because of what you’ve just seen and heard, but because of how unprepared for it you were.

And then it gets worse, but you’ll have to see the move for that.

Today’s installment written by Jeremy G. Butler