An Introduction:
I woke up this morning realizing it’s now 2011, and the future we
were promised still hasn’t arrived. No jetpacks, no spaceships, no
laser guns. We never even returned to the moon… assuming we ever went
there in the first place. I mean, we’re a decade into the 21st
Century, and what do we have to show for it? The internet? Please.
Now hacks like me can bore you with our inane opinions and every
useless thought and feeling, not to mention shameless self-promotion.
So what? That’s not progress. And it certainly doesn’t make up for
the fact that the closest thing we have to a “droid” is a damn
cellphone. Anyway, in ironic protest, I decided to create a new
generation of kids who will someday wake up as arrested adolescents like
myself, disappointed and disenfranchised by unrealistic childhood
expectations of a world of tomorrow that will never actually happen.
Enjoy!
– Andrew Cosby
Andy’s a good friend and someone I’m having the honor of collaborating with. When this harebrained idea popped out, this impossible to achieve full year commitment to cheese and monster glory, I had to bite. It’s going to be fun watching him challenge himself and you with creativity, schlock, and all the nooks and crannies of his geeky brain. I’m looking forward to this. So bear with us as this little experiment finds its stride.
Enjoy!
– Nick Nunziata
“From the mind behind the mega-hit Syfy show you’ve probably never heard of (EUREKA)
comes a tribute to all those no-budget Syfy original movies and the “so
bad, they’re good” films that inspired them. Move over Roger Corman,
step back Ed Wood, make way on your weekend programming schedule Mr.
Stern, because here comes Andrew Cosby’s 365 DAYS OF SCI-FI.
And it’s all happening here! Each day, your friends at CHUD will
bring you a brand new bad movie pitch — the best of the worst title
Cosby can come up with, no matter where he’s at or what he’s doing, rain
or shine, drunk or sober. That’s a whole year of the quality concepts
you’ve come to expect from the network that brought you MANSQUITO and SHARKTOPUS.”
So let’s get this party started…DAY ONE…
“Just when you thought it was safe to go back to basic cable…”
Pitch:
With the help of global warming and a convenient
offshore drilling disaster, a giant prehistoric fish with a taste for
human flesh is freed from the icy depths to terrorize an unsuspecting
group of tourists, turning their dream vacation into a living nightmare.
Nick Says: I’d totally see this. It mixes three of my favorite things: Hateful Fish, Ancient Beasts Who Awaken Grumpy, and People in Torment. I think Cosby’s onto something here. Looks like a juicy starring role for Miguel Ferrer as the Oceanographer with a secret and a nice resume filler for Tom Noonan as the Resort Owner with a secret. Toss in Amanda Plummer as the heiress with a secret and Lance Guest as the SCUBA instructor with a secret and we are cooking with GAS. What’s Greg Cannom been doing lately? We need a few rod puppet killer fish, STAT!
21 comments
This is a great idea for a column!
I laughed. I cried. And then went out and rented Octosaurus.
Fuck yeah. Miguel Ferrer and Tom Noonan need to be in this now!
Naw, I was hoping you'd actually be recommending us a new Sci-fi film a day. :p
Matt, I fully expect you to bring your digital wizardry to at least 2 or 3 of these bad boys.
YES!! Another column started that will meander and eventually disappear! Awesome!
Genius.
did´nt they return a few times to the moon, one dude even playing golf on it?
I'm going to go ahead and wish this project every success, but I suspect it's rather going to fall prey to the plausibility gap that exists between ideas that are just too damn dumb to turn into a movie and the ideas that aren't dumb enough to turn into a movie, all of which get turned into dumb movies anyway, and we're going to end up with a list of movies that everyone really wants to see.
Now I return to my own pitch for a movie about a man battling a fiendish electronic mastermind hell-bent on suppressing his self-expression by repeatedly denying his attempts at entering a verification code. It's Groundhog Day meets 2001 meets Gandhi.
Great minds think a like it seems, an internet comedian/reviewer posted a video a month or so ago in much the same vein – obscurus lupa presents – http://obscuruslupapresent.blip.tv/file/4464703/
There's no way this goes for 365 days… No way, I give it a solid three months, max. Chud you have a habit of this kinda grand, epic column idea… But a severe lack of follow through. Why not aim less lofty and call it '200 Days of SciFi' or '500 Hours' or something that will be less immeasurably painful when you inevitably drop it, or it becomes more scattershot as the months wear on?… I a fan, but this is the kinda misfire stuff that you should avoid. Credability and all that…. Peace.
Good idea for a fun column.
Thought this was going to be a review of old scifi (refuse to spell it with ys) which would of been awesome, but this is entertaining even if you don't make it to the end of the year (lighten up people), just get some better pics or a concept drawing
Huge fan of Eureka, but this feels pretty thin. It's too close to Syfy's actual output to be funny, and the drab logline doesn't really work as parody. A one-off list of the ten best ones might work better. But not a whole year. The prospect of 364 more of these doesn't exactly fill me with anticipation.
Is this a New Years Resolution?
I'm not sure why Greg Cannom gets dragged into this. He's a reputable and accomplished make-up artist who still gets prestigious gigs, and he also has the distinction of having provided the most engaging (and least narcissistic, delusional and rationalization-heavy) audio commentary on Bram Stoker's Dracula (well, on the laserdisc, anyway…not sure if it survived the film's release on dvd/blu ray).
Day 1, and this idea already resembles about 40 SyFy movies from last year. The killer aquatic creature thing has been done to death. Not a good launch.
Wait until the crew at SyFy hear that the creator of one of their shows is mocking the channel. That will be an interesting Monday morning discussion.
Soooooo, it's getting pretty close to the end of day 2 now, and still no second article. Will the streak end at 1?
This is awesome! I would be first in line to see this.
It’s like Biggs had a crystal ball, or something, huh?
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