This just in: Prince William loves sodomy. His wife describes him a “royal pain in the ass.”

With the best reviews of the franchise, and wild audience enthusiasm, Fast Five has begun the summer season, and in some ways helped break the April curse – though previous entry Fast and Furious definitely helped with that. That said, in years previous they’ve tried to do some early April launches and missed (The Scorpion King comes to mind). Fast Five is also the biggest opening in April ever, and Universal’s biggest opening weekend ever. Lot of records. Two. What this means is that Thor has to be a little bit nervous. They thought they had the prime “first week of event picture/summer pictures” slot, and it turns out that Five has trumped them. Thor was always risky, and probably wasn’t going to get to a hundred opening weekend like Iron Man, but word so far has been mixed to positive, and Drew McWeeny’s kids seemed to like it, so it probably plays well with the youngings. Still, beads of sweat.

Fast Five should cross the hundred million dollar mark by Tuesday… maybe Wednesday as school is still in session, but it’s on its way to a $200 Million dollar domestic total, possibly more if there are repeat viewings. And if Thor proves disappointing, and because Priest looks like a cheap picture, it could have really solid totals for the next two weekends. I’d go $250 right now, but it’s hard to say with summer competition. Then again, it’s not like there’s a lot of new pictures each week.

Nothing else had that draw. Prom was a cheap picture for Disney but they were surely hoping for better numbers. Maybe it gets to $15 Million domestic, but that’s about it. Hoodwinked Too! was a dump, so there’s that, and Dylan Dog: Dead of Night was on less than a thousand screens and did very pathetic numbers on those screens. But if the film had mostly foreign backing likely it will make money through international revenue. But these are pictures released the week before summer officially starts, and if anyone thought they would make much of an impression, they’d have a different release date.

Rio crossed the nine digit mark, which is good for it, but the main story with it are its international numbers. It’s doing well and should keep playing into Kung Fu Panda 2, but it should stop before or around $150 when all is said and done. Where Hop lost all momentum post-Easter, and should be leaving screens shortly. That drop had everything to do with its holiday being over. The film made it to over $100, which means we may yet see a sequel. Hop was cheaper than most animated films – but it wasn’t that cheap so it’s not a big win, but a win nonetheless.

Tyler Perry’s latest will get over $50 Million, and though his highest grosses may be behind him, he’s still a solid performer. Water for Elephants took a solid hit, but may level out as a non-event film. It’s unknown if Something Borrowed will steal its audiene away.

Soul Surfer, Insidious and Source Code have been playing strong for what they are. All should turn a profit on the smaller scale. This is the first big hit on Insidious, but since the film was cheap and played long, it doesn’t matter. We’ll probably see some form of sequel.

And with that, my run on Chud ends for now. I’ll mostly be over at Screencrave, so check me there, but in the immortal words of Daniel Plainview “I’m finished.”