As surprising as it was to watch a trailer for Universal’s Snow White and the Hunstman and be shocked at the visual ingenuity and scope, it’s even more surprising at how profoundly less interesting Tarsem Singh’s project looks to be in every way. It’s not just the silly tone, shitty jokes, and general lack of anything interesting going on, it’s also much less aesthetically exciting. Who woulda thunk it?

I’m pretty firmly in the “Immortals blows” camp but I like the idea of Tarsem as a director well enough. You can’t certainly can’t say his keen eye didn’t make it into his mythological blockbuster, even if his sense of drama and storytelling were nowhere to be found. This Mirror Mirror trailer though… a hail of incessant, terrible one-liners from Julia Roberts is almost enough to distract, but it’s impossible not to notice how bland this looks, despite elaborate costumes and huge sets. It all just cooks together into something cheesy and shamelessly derivative of Alice In Wonderland, which most feel is responsible for starting this fairy tale mess back up in the first place.

Here’s a fun challenge: go back and watch the trailer again, and imagine Helena Bonham Carter in Robert’s place. Enjoy how the line delivery would be precisely the same, save for the accent.

So yeah, unless one of these projects is a massive bait-and-switch, I think it’s safe to say the Universal project will be the “winner,” if there is such a thing. In fact, they haven’t even released a trailer or material focusing on the excellent cast put together for the seven dwarves, so look out for that.

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