I bet Kevin Smith feels like he’s going to help democratize film discussion and wrestle the dialogue out of the hands of stuffy critics with his show Spoilers, which makes me wonder what the fuck he thinks we’re all doing out here. His Hulu series is described thusly:
Spoilers” is Kevin Smith’s movie “revue,” a multi-act film extravaganza mixing lively group chats, interviews with movie and pop culture icons, animated shorts and cinematic reenactments. Each week, Kevin, a special guest and movie lovers passionately sound off on the year’s most anticipated summer blockbusters, breaking down their favorite scenes and what should have been left on the cutting room floor.
And you can see him have a :44 second stroke on screen as he pitches the show in the teaser.
Indeed. Now obviously this is just an opportunity for Hulu to have some programming to go after the movie geek market and fill out their original interview show section a bit, but whether this was Smith’s idea or a pitch he’s hopping on to, it’s loaded as fuck. You see, you may remember one of Smith’s many public rants about film critics, including one in which he outright states that he would never let critics see and rip on his films again. At the time he staked his claim with the hyper-defensive anti-intellectual lot who eschew critical thought when it comes to things they blindly like. Lest you think his hatred has cooled, note that he still casually pisses all over any critics who see films early.
The notion is: Watch the movie with everybody, we take them out and pay for them to go see the movie, kick back — on opening day, none of this early bullshit, ain’t doing it like those critics, doing it legit — and then just go down the street, sit down and have a gabfest, man.
Fuckin’ yeah man, real movie debate, like you can have with your buddies in the car. Not like those fanboy dicks on the internet…
We’re going to do a beat called Movie Goon where like I’ll have on my friend Malcolm Ingram, who hates everything. He’s one of these nihilists. If it’s popular, he can’t stand it. He represents the internet. So we’ll bring him on and let him have his say and then we’ll beat him up verbally and tell him why he’s wrong — have a good old-fashioned debate.
He represents the internet,
please. Awesome, outward hostility towards any questioning of the value and mindlessness of pop culture entertainment. Let’s show that cynical asshole what’s

what for shitting on our blockbusters! Moves aren’t for reviewing, they’re for SAVORING. And yet somehow I have a feeling they’ll be all about dumping on
Ice Age or any other non-geek-service movie that falls in their laps, since they’re sure as shit not lending a hand to anything not cooked up for the masses:
Snow White and the Huntsman
Prometheus
Rock of Ages
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Magic Mike
The Amazing Spider-Man
Ice Age: Continental Drift
The Dark Knight Rises
The Watch
The Bourne Legacy
Total Recall
Smith has never been subtle about how poorly he’s handled the routine critical bashings his ever-more-shitty piles of shit have accumulated, and now he’s getting aggressive about diluting the conversation. Well I don’t feel the need to be any more subtle: fuck him and fuck his show. For all the nerd-service he postures at providing, he sure is all about reinforcing the hostile and insular sides of fandom that most makes it resemble the douchey jockdom that once thrived on shoving around the smart kids. That he fails to understand how criticism and professional critics works to find the new shit, the underseen shit, the shit that would have no life otherwise is an indication of how lazy he has truly become. He’s a funny motherfucker- I still wish he’d just moved into stand-up after Clerks. Imagine the universe where Smith pioneered his own sort of Louie C.K. career…
Keep working to make critics your enemy as you retreat from filmmaking with your tail between your leg, Smith. We won’t miss you.
12 comments
Word UP Renn. And what the hell is wrong with him? He can’t stop shaking his arms and he talks like a fucking asshole. This sounds like torture.
When did CHUD become TROLL? It’s getting old reading these bitchy news items. Kevin Smith has a shitty movie themed talk show on Hulu. Big fucking deal. Why sharpen the claws for a couple of goofy promotional sound bites? If anything rag on it for being on fucking Hulu, a website who’s corporate masters debate every 6 months whether to kill their own cash cow or not.
Yeah, what a dumb cunt for making a kind of online video where a couple of idiots talk about movies and stuff each week…who’d want to watch that…
BTW: when’s the next CHUD Video Podcast you goddamned slackers!!!?
Are any of those fucking losers from his comic book men show going to be on this? Because if they are, count me OUT Hulu.
If there was any love in the world, Kevin Smith would hire Richard Roeper and they could sit down and do actual film reviews without all the animation and “pop culture” bullshit. Siskel and Ebert ran for over two decades and it turned out that the format didn’t really need Siskel or Ebert – Kevin Smith was a perfectly serviceable fill-in. Kevin Smith needs a short leash to be any good.
Whoa! Throttle it back there, Renn. Bitter much? One kick to the groin would suffice (it’s not like Smith doesn’t deserve it) but when you continue kicking it becomes… creepy.
You fell into his trap Renn, you wrote a lengthy CHUD article about him. He needs the exposure.
I stopped caring about all things Kevin Smith several years ago. I watched a few minutes of Kevin Smith Burn in Hell to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. Nope. He’s just more nuts, spastic, and more contradictory of himself them ever: “I finally just said ‘Fuck critics!’ and it felt like a huge weight was lifted. I’m only gonna make movies for myself now! Oh, but I’m only going to make two more movies. Critics always bitched about my lame static cinematography. Now that I don’t care what critics think, I’ve let my cinematographer go crazy and move the camera all over the place! Working for a big budget studio was awesome! I could do that forever! But instead I’m just going to secure enough funds to do my last two flicks and quit making movies. Cop Out was great because it allowed me to make a big studio movie. All those critics that didn’t like it don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.” Fucking what?!
Yeah, fuck those critics, seein’ movies all early so they can write a review in time to publish it on the day of the film’s release. What a bunch of cocksuckers, doing their jobs and shit.
Smith can go fuck the devil in hell for all I care. What a jackass.
listen guys,before anything else, I love to death the existence of sites like this or AintitCool, because of the news and, mostly, the talkbacks. So, please don´t go taking this all personal or anything but, the truth to me is, movie critics can pretty much go fuck themselves. If we are talking sports or athletics there is no way we can deny who is or was number one: Michael Jordan, Schumacher, Ali, and we can brag all we want to but it is a fact- a fact- that Tyson would have knocked us the fuck out back in his prime- and nowadays as well. There is no arguing the fucking fact- and let me stress it just once more, ok? Fact.
There is no arguing mathemathics or physics, either, so when someone comes over and patiently explains to me why The Avengers, or, say, The Hudsucker Proxy, or, Rocky, which happens to be my all-time-favorite movie, suck, well, then I feel entitled to, just as patiently explain to them how they can go fuck themselves. Fact is I love those movies to death.
Fact is, some other people don’t. And we all are correct.
We all are movie critics, only needing a movie to watch to become so, so the idea of these people getting paid to actually tell us they are, somehow , more enlightened and entitled to have their opinions in a higher regard than mine or anyone else’s is not only laughable but outright offensive.
I read movie critiques and will contue doing so, God willing, but I consider the professional movie critics’s opinions just as worthwhile as anyone else’s if never, however, as accurate as my own.
Okay, we get it, you don’t like Kevin Smith. We all realize that Faraci left a gargantuan (get it? cause he’s fat. This is a fat joke. I should write an epic movie sequel) hate vaccuum when he left but why does somebody feel the urge to fill it back up with long opinion articles dripping with vitriol nobody reads? First it was Rappe and now it’s you.
I’m trying to find a large enough container to hold all the fucks I don’t give about this show that probably won’t last a season. Chill out.
I see what you’re saying. I think film critics are valuable because, now more than ever, it’s expensive as hell to go out to the movies. Rather than just plunk down money for a babysitter, tickets, and popcorn, I instead like to make an informed decision on whether or not a movie is worth my time and money based on the opinions of film critics whose opinions I generally agree with. Does that mean that my opinion of the movie may differ from from the opinion of the critic whose review I read? Sure. Does that mean the critic was right for liking it and I’m wrong for not liking it? Of course not. Art is subjective. There is some basic quantitative analysis that can be done though. For instance: Is Cop Out supposed to be a comedy? Yes. Did it make people laugh? Hardly. Then it’s a shitty comedy.
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