130 posts
It seemed so simple. All I wanted to do was make a remake of 3:10 to Yuma. A little Western action, heroes and villains, pride: lost and found. The studio said, "Yeah, sure. Here's Batman, don't let him get hurt out there." I walked out of the office… Continue reading
In the late nineties, I happened to notice that fellas were not the awesome badasses they used to be. All the Rambos and Commandos were gone, replaced with Matt Damons and Ben Affleckseses. Seemed like an odd phenomenon to me, so I decided to make a movie… Continue reading
A lot of people think Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (B:Ev.S) is just another dumb action movie. Wrong! B:Ev.S is an action movie yes, but it is so much more: a sequel to Assassins, an entry to the Batman franchise, the third Charlie's Angles movie, and a prequel… Continue reading
I was paid thirty million dollars to make a thirty second commercial for Fed-Ex. But guess what. My check came a day late. And guess who delivered it! So I took their stupid pile of cash, wiped my ass with one half, and used the other to make a movie about… Continue reading
Question: What's eating Gilbert Grape? Answer: Nothing. He lives at the end. I know a lot of horror film fans were misled by the title of this film. Sorry about that. The truth is, I wanted to call it What's Buggin Gilbert Grape, but my producers felt that… Continue reading
Okay. The Goonies. Someone on my staff informed me that I actually made this piece of shit. I didn't want to believe it, but my old pseudonym is right there in the credits: "Directed By: 8-ball LvR." I just knew those Party with Stephen King days would come… Continue reading
Kids go to school to learn shit. And the number one lesson I can think of is don't fuck with Tom Berenger. Obviously the American government agrees, otherwise they wouldn't have funded half this film under the banner: Operation Grow Balls on Young Brains. Tom… Continue reading
When I was a kid I wanted to have sex with women, but most of them wouldn't let me. I thought, "Man, I wish I could skip all this growing up shit and get right to the screwing and cocaine." To pass the time, I put all my fantasies on paper and wrote the… Continue reading
Louis Malle, François Truffaut, Robert Altman, and Tim Burton came over to my house one time and we all started talking about this new guy, Wes Anderson. The general consensus was, we were sick and tired of getting ripped off by his goofy "style". One… Continue reading
If you look at the top ten films of all time (aka the best of Sam Strange), six of them will be Star Wars films. This historical series has changed the life of every man, woman, man-child, child, and child-child who have come across its middle school charms,… Continue reading
If you look at the top ten films of all time (aka the best of Sam Strange), six of them will be Star Wars films. This historical series has changed the life of every man, woman, man-child, child, and child-child who have come across its middle school charms,… Continue reading
If you look at the top ten films of all time (aka the best of Sam Strange), six of them will be Star Wars films. This historical series has changed the life of every man, woman, man-child, child, and child-child who have come across its middle school charms,… Continue reading
