Day Five – Jaws 2
One of the great things about Polish movie posters is how lazy they are. Or at least, creative in a really lazy way. The Polish have brought the world many things. Like Poland Springs Water and the Warsaw Pact. Their finest export by far has been their movie posters, bizarre and oftentimes jaw-dropping interpretations of films from all over the world. Sometimes literal examinations of their source but sometimes absolutely batshit pieces of art that almost take on a life of their own. Over the next fifteen weekdays I’ll be sharing some of the best examples of how these creative necromancers interpret American cinema. Jaws 2 features Roy Scheider losing his interest in being attacked by sharks.
The Polish poster is simple: Jaws 2‘s literal transition isn’t “Another Jaws movie”. It’s “Two sets of jaws”. On that token it’s a fine poster, if not a little uninspired. It’s bad enough there’s a series of summer movies named after the villain’s mouth. It’s just that if such a shark existed Roy Scheider wouldn’t retreat from it but rather laugh at it so hard that the shark slit its wrists.
What would this movie be like?
A series of close calls where a victim almost gets eaten by the shark’s mouth and then gets eaten by the shark’s mouth.
Who is the audience for this film?
Conjoined film critics. Carnival barkers. Oceanographers. Clive Barker. Greg Norman on top of Greg Norman. Me.
What the fucking fuck is fucking fucking?
The second shark would totally die of hunger/boredom.
The domestic poster for Jaws 2:
Tagline vs. Tagline?
There are actually several posters for Jaws 2 (an underappreciated movie), by the far the best one being the one pictured here. The waterskiing broad is the most memorable. The lazy tagline “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water” is sleep-inducing but if the Polish one were in English I think the translation is “The shark is back and it’s handicapped.” Or maybe “I think we need a shorter boat.” Or dialogue from the shark(s) saying “Crap I have two mouths but what the fuck’s happened to my eyes?”
What other movies could effectively use this poster?
Tiger Warsaw. Two Moon Junction. Amos and Andy. Sharky’s Machine. Jaws 3-D. Enchanted.
Tomorrow: What in Sam Hill…
Jaws 2 (1978) 116 min
Police chief Brody must protect the citizens of Amity after a second monstrous shark begins terrorizing the waters.
- 06.16.1978 (USA)
- Jeannot Szwarc
- Peter Benchley
- Carl Gottlieb
- and 1 more credit
- Roy Scheider
- Lorraine Gary
- Murray Hamilton
- Joseph Mascolo
- Jeffrey Kramer
- Watch or buy now