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Sorry studios and filmmakers, you’re just not going to be able to keep your cool tricks and suprises secret anymore, especially as the shared universe and modern continuity wanking stuff becomes the ruling trend. The fanboys are on it, and your ships are leaky!
Today it’s AICN that has grabbed the major end-of-the-movie scoop, and it’s pretty serious. If you’re want to try your luck at going in to Fast & Furious 6 with no idea what will happen at the end, fuck out of this article but quick. Kisses, see you in the next one.
So here’s the deal: As continuity wanks know, Han’s death in Tokyo Drift has always made it in such that every sequel following has actually been an implicit prequel. Also, you may remember that Fast & Furious 6 and 7 were intended to be shot together, with Jason Statham as the villain, and that didn’t work out.
Or so we thought.
So apparently –and you can read an explicit description of the scenes that will set this up at AICN– Fast 6 will end with our heroes winning. (No shit.) The twist will come when a mysterious figure suddenly brings continuity crashing down on the franchise by taking out Han in a violent car crash, as in Tokyo Drift. The figure will then reveal himself to Dom on the phone as the brother of the most recently fallen villain, and a man now out to take down the entire crew responsible.
Then we’ll see that said figure is Jason Statham.
It’s a damn shame that covering this shit is a fact of life at this point, but we all make our choices. Honestly, all that’s left now is either confirmation or disappointment if this turns out not to be true.
I’ve just depressed myself, if I’m being quite frank. I don’t think this shit is journalism, but who can blame the scoopers for feeding people what they want? I’d love to hear some opinions on that in the comments.
6 comments
Jeez. What’s with the dismissive tone?
And yes, I hope this shit is true. Because–why the fuck not?
Getting a “scoop” about upcoming movies is the very essence of this kind of journalism. In fact, getting secret sources to deliver real, solid intel on upcoming movies is really the best that entertainment journalism can hope for. I’m not saying you should hope that “ending twists” get spoiled months in advance of release, of course. Just that this is a natural part of what these sorts of sites are inherently supposed to be shooting for?
What else is there? Interviewing stars at junkets while they puff up their latest project, talking about a set visit? That’s glorified marketing work – that shit’s not journalism, although maybe you can make it angle that way if you get a clever question out that isn’t immediately blown off by a pat, generic response. Making lists of the best/worst movies of a certain type, or reviewing an entire series? Great for a blog-type approach, but that shit’s not really journalism, either.
I get why it’s depressing to you – because you wish we didn’t live in an era where almost anything and everything can be spoiled, up to and including the ending twist. However, that’s the world we’re in now. It might be more palatable to be breaking who just got hired to script Die Hard 6, or a breakdown of an opening sequence or something. Those aren’t intended to be the kind of surprise that this is. But like you said: People want this. Some of them, anyway. And when early news about upcoming movies can be broken, well, that’s what this site and sites like AICN/DarkHorizons/Coming Attractions have always been about, supposedly.
So you’re saying film journalism is getting to read the script before anyone else, and publishing anything interesting that happens?
Perhaps that defines pop journalism and online fanboy news that developed from AICN and CHUD and the like back in the Phantom Menace days, but the traditional outlets spent decades covering legitimate industry news with an interest on casting and what projects were coming from whom by when without digging into this kind of a thing. It’s just like news for every other industry- there is a paradigm and it’s not finding out what the connected-universe scene after the credits will be. Go back and read an issue of variety from the 90s- there’s a pursuit to be had beyond “what happens in the movie.” There’s also no satisfying end game or evolution from that sort of journalism, it’s an escalation of forced transparency on productions. Eventually there will be no secrets left.
I don’t know how a writer for any film site can enjoy a movie anymore. What I mean is: going in knowing nothing but the title of it, who’s in it, the basic premise and nothing else. Remember that time before reading spoiler-y articles? That feeling of actually being surprised in the theater, not knowing what the major set pieces were going to be? Me neither.
Reading CHUD, and other sites of it’s ilk, is a daily pleasure for me. But reading ‘scoops’ on future Marvel Cinematic Universe plans, then seeing a screen grab of the Enterprise plummeting into an atmosphere made me realize that for me to recapture that particular movie experience of not know what’s coming next, I would have to grow a pair of balls, embrace delayed gratification and not click on that fucking link that clearly warned me.
Is there any chance you wrote this after eating a bottle of tylenol PM, while sitting in your running car in the garage, all the while polishing that one bullet you’re about to load in the gun? Im a gearhead and I love movies. I love movies with cars and the Fast and the Furious series is a good mix of action and cars without taking themselves too seriously. The entries keep getting better, and although its not like you’re reporting on which superhero’s cousin is gonna be in the next tentpole, or who Bruce Wayne’s love interest is really gonna be in the end….this news got nothing but high fives and “F#$K YEAHS!” at my workplace. So thanks for the scoop…. I wish you would step up off that ledge my friend, you could cut ties with all the lies that you’d be living with I WOULD UNDERSTAAAAYAAAYAAAAYAAAAAND. lol just kidding, but for real put the gun down…you’re a journalist, not the front page news!
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