I’m sure some of you out there work retail. And so I’m sure you will understand the rant I am about to expunge. However, retail experience or not, imagine working nine (9) days in a row without a day off. In retail.
So yes, I’m fucking tired.
What is it about retail that brings out the absolute worst in the human race? What is it about scum that makes them inhabit stores, stalking around for hours on end saying things like, ‘What do you mean I need a receipt to return this book you haven’t carried in five (5) years?’ or ‘What do you mean I can’t have forty (40) percent off this item because I dropped one of your books on my hand?’ What they really should be asking is, ‘What do you mean if you could dig up Jason Vorhees corpse and stick a metal rod in his head during a lightning storm and accidentally (?) resurrect him you feel your own death would almost be worth it no matter how terrible it was if you knew he would end my life in screaming agony?’
One can hope, right?
Seriously, what makes people specifically treat retail, and service industry, employees so terribly? It’s like we’re the Darfur of America’s working class. That might be a tactless comparison, but is it inaccurate? What makes someone say to someone trying to help them, ‘I could go find this myself but I feel it is my duty to keep you gainfully employed during this time of economic crisis?’*
Maybe we’ll never know. I can only hope though that there is a special end waiting for these people, one that is worthy of a horror movie.
I did the nine day thing to myself, rearranging my days off in a pinch to attend a screenwriting expo in Hollywood this weekend. Stay tuned, I have a feeling I’ll be posting about that in a day or two.
……………
* I know the woman who said this to me the other day is not reading this (unless I use words like MYSTIC ROCK AND GEM HEALING PROPERTIES or SPIRITUAL CRYSTALS to try and trigger a google match) but if you all would help me pretend that she is for a moment, ‘YOU FUCKING IGNORANT CUNT!!! You live on the hill in PV, don’t you? You probably come down every once in a while to exert your frustrations on those who you feel are beneath you because you are so powerless in the rest of your life. Can’t keep the husband from fucking the secretary, can you? And I’ll bet those pills the doctor gave you don’t help anymore, do they? And I’ll bet you’ve figured out if you could double the dosage they might, but ‘ol Doc’s not going to go for that is he? Not even after you try to blow him in his office and he shoots down your pathetic, well out of practice advances and the whole visit turns incredibly awkward. And of course you no longer understand what it’s like to only want to be with one person for the sake of how you feel for them, so you take the turn down as a testament to just how ugly you are, because inside you feel ugly, don’t you? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate why you keep that gun in your closet and if it could do you some good, eh?
— sorry, I know that’s a bit harsh, but if you work in retail, chances are you understand.
6 comments
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas…
If you don't like it, get some marketable skills.
this is a test
Well fuck it, here we go kids!! There is a special subgroup of people who enjoy fucking with those they deem below them to blow off steem. I worked several years in retail and have now worked several years in the restaurant industry. Some people will validate themselves by being a bully to people in the service industry.
Boss fucking you over? "WHY DONT YOU HAVE THIS SHIRT IN XXXL?!!"
Spouse riding your ass? "I want 3 copies of the reciept, just to make sure your not ripping me off." (I heard this, honest)
If you want to read about the most truthful accounting of the food biz, (next to Kitchen Confidential) , read "Waiter Rant" by Steve Dublanica
I think back to the early 90's when Mr Baker and I worked at the same family run pizza joint in high school, how we had the power to turn the tables on those who were too dumb to understand that it is a bad idea to fuck with the people who prepare your food. Every bodily fluid, behind the counter scum, and giant moth in the wrong place at the wrong time became extra pizza toppings for those who felt it was safe to vent on those deemed "below" them.
BTW- for the douche swiller in comment #2, anonymous shit talking is so dickless.
The individuals who find it fit to fuck with other people are those who know that they are powerless in this shitty world. They know that, as a retail worker, your hands are tied by the corporate suit-dummy and there is nothing you can do to defend yourself. It's kind of like kicking an injured, retarded dog. They do it because they know there will be no retaliation. They know that if they treat anyone else like that they will be carrying their teeth home their hands, wishing that they born someone else. Don't worry Shawn, every night when they go home, they sit and think about how worthless their 9 to 5 lives are and contimplate suicide between stuffing their fat asses with lard and downloading gay porn. Rest assure one day they will get cancer and die a long, slow, painful, well deserved death. As far as coment number 2 goes, eat shit and get fucked in the ass you worthless cocksucker. You've obviously never been there so you will never understand.
GoatChild: You are the worst. Between your inane fantasies and homophobic insults you reveal yourself as the truly worthless piece of shit that you are.
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