[Note: I took the picture down because it’s apparently stolen. Paramount is pissed, and they should be. They should also be pissed because the costumes are asshole.]
It’s going to be very hard for me to defend Stephen Sommers after G.I. Joe hits screens I fear. Even though 2004 isn’t all that long ago, the sting of Van Helsing still permeates and though I still harbor much love for certain moments from my Joe-centric childhood, these pictures that are starting to surface [the latest batch from What Would Tyler Durden Do?] make my balls take a more teardrop shape if but for a moment.
To the right we used to see Dennis Quaid holding his breath and waiting for the last picture to be snapped so he can go home and watch Far From Heaven and remember fonder times. When you click the link above you’ll see a whole assortment of people who aren’t right for their roles in similar contortions. Enjoy!
By the way, Russ Fischer added this comment in regards to the pictures:
“I’d love to see a mention that cover girl’s duds actually
have ‘gi joe’ stamped on them. like pajamas.“
Consider my work here done.
23 comments
I wasn't optimistic when i first heard about this movie and my worst fears are being confirmed.
The only decent looking one is Snake Eyes.
I guess Scarlett is ok but when you realize others are wearing the same uniform it looks stupid.
Those pictures (especially Quaid) look like the things you see on those shitty Halloween costume websites.
At least they are being true to the uncomfortable poses that the original Action Force figures had. Do they have holes in their feet too, may be the kung-fu action grip? I'm getting quite hyped for this movie now. I might put Action Force the movie on this weekend – maybe even arise serpentor arise. Full Force!
Good job, unlike Aint-It-No-Ethics.
At least the girls are hot. One can only hope that a lot of the action takes place near water so that they are forced to do battle in swimsuits……. What would Tyler Durden Do? Get a faster connection and then beat himself up/(off?)…
But, but, they don't look like my toys!!!!! Why don't they look my toys!!!! (G.I. Joe-more like G.I. Joke Amirite????)
If we're lucky, they'll clone Serpentor from DNA of the Raelian baby and Dolly the lamb. Cobra Baaaaaaaaaa!
why does he have to be going home and seeing FAR FROM HEAVEN to remember better days….? why cant he be going home to Watch JAWS 3-D, huh? tell me that! or maybe DRAGONHEART…. better days indeed.
Ooooooh, you is right, American Virgin. Hoooooooooooooooooooo! Seriously, these costumes had me laughing for like five minutes. Nice belt buckle on that one chick.
2009's Megaforce.
Wow, just wow. I just….wow, mike o is right, shitty halloween costumes.
Poor Dennis…he looks like even HE realizes how ridiculous he looks in that outfit.
GI Joes were always inferior to He-Man. Now it looks like the film will be as well.
What's the big fucking deal? I think it looks just about right for a GI Joe movie. Why wouldn't they be wearing the same uniforms? They're in a paramilitary organization. They wouldn't run out into battle looking like a bunch of Village People. Camoflage, uniformity, military order and all that shit.
These guys would win first prize at the Comic Con. Fo real.
It's not that bad. The all black leather costumes are sort of cliche at this point, but I think everyone else looks fine. Plus, if someone on the message boards bitches about something like this, they get ripped to shreds. Yet, it's perfectly fine if the staff whines. I'm calling bullshit on that. Nick, do you do anything useful on this site anymore at all?
I think this title should be
G. I'm. UNCOMFORTABLE
Or is that too 'easy'? Stay classy.
Missed it!
It's not that the costumes look bad. Any counter-terrorist squad dressed like that in a film would be more than pass-worthy. It's just that they are terribly uninspired. And who's bright idea was it to give Duke a shitty goatee?
HAHAHAH What would tyler durden do? remove the picture cause some fucking corporation told you to…. i doubt it.
Thumbnails still up at Dark Horizons.
Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers* Stephen Sommers*
*(repeat as often as needed.)
*(sooner or later it will sink in.)
You echoe'd my words earlier when someone mentioned this film to me earlier today in regards to this "leak." Van Helsing…. I'd just like to say Jake Speed and Ice Pirates. Hasbro just hiked up the price for action figures one to two dollars this year. Maybe the fans will just finally quit after this kind of like the fans of Street Fighter faded away after the movie. Voltron, Thundercats, fucking Go-bots and Masters of the UNiverse should not be made, but they all likely will at this point. The 80's brats that were programmed to consume this tripe are still responding to marketing stimulus. $will it end? Unlikely. Hail Cobra.
Another (new) image from GI Joe: The Raping. Which one is he? One of the cameo's?
http://dlisted.com/node/25344?size=_original
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