SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Interview with Director David Worth
• WOTLW Production Stills

The Pitch

That guy from Paperchase does a Stallone impression after dental surgery while riding a talking motorcycle.

The Humans

That guy from Paperchase (Robert Ginty), The bald chick from Star Trek: The Motion Picture (Persis Khambatta), Jimmy Carter (Harrison Muller Sr.), Donald Pleasence, Fred Williamson

The Nutshell

That guy from Paperchase is the reluctant savior of a post-apocalyptic world along with his trusty sidekick, Harvey the Talking Motorcycle. He battles Donald Pleasance who is the leader of Omega, an evil Orwellian organization with a predilection for S&M nightclubs. Think Mad Max meets Knight Rider meets The Warriors, and at the same time completely unbearable to watch.

The Lowdown

If Santa Claus is the jewel of this set, then Warrior of the Lost World is the turd. This film would be completely unwatchable were it not for the commentary of Joe, Crow, and Tom Servo. The movie starts with our “hero”, Robert Ginty (That guy from Paperchase), riding his talking motorcycle, which makes jokes so unfunny it has to repeat them several times. He encounters agents of Omega, The Oppressive Government of the Lost World and makes short work of them thanks to his wonderful toys.

The only people who still watch Warrior of the Lost World.

Later, while fighting future-nerds, he crashes his bike into the invisible wall that is home to the toga wearing elders. After they fix his injuries with flashlights, they insist that Mr. Mumbles is the chosen one that will save them all. Since he is an anti-hero, he has to be forced at gun point to help, by the bald chick from Star Trek: the Motion Picture (Persis Khambatta); guess who will be the love interest. After a lot of walking through random sets, they arrive in Omega HQ to rescue her father from execution. It is at this point that we are treated to GI Joe: A Real American Hero quality gun sound effects.

After a lot of bad sound effects and dead Omega soldiers, Robert Ginty and Jimmy Carter “narrowly escape with their lives.” Their inability to bring along Persis Khambatta can really only be attributed to laziness given how easily they wiped out the rest of the Omega soldier during their escape mission. It literally would have only taken a couple minutes to have her escape with them. Lucky for us, she gets captured and we are treated to Donald Pleasence reprising his supervillian role from You Only Live Twice. Other than Megaweapon (more on him later), he is the highlight of the film. He hams it up in a way that you cannot help but enjoy.

Trust me, you will cheer when Megaweapon kills the talking motorcycle.

Robert Ginty needs an army to rescue Persis Khambatta and so begins The Warriors portion of the movie. Robert Ginty and a representative member of each of the various ‘themed gangs’ fight in a no-holds-barred brawl to determine who will lead them. Luckily, that guy from Paperchase, who is not above dwarf-tossing and sucker punching women, is the ultimate victor. The newly formed road gang fights the Omega soldiers who wish to thwart their second rescue mission. The rebels are winning until Omega unleashes Megaweapon, but thanks to the noble sacrifice of the talking motorcycle, it is defeated.

Eventually, Persis Khambatta is rescued and Donald Pleasence is killed…or is he? It turns out that it was just a clone that died and that Fred Williamson was on his side all along. Just when you thought it was over, Warrior of the Lost World threatens a sequel. This is the greatest threat of the apocalypse.

Even with the commentary, which made me laugh out loud at several points, watching this film is painful. I was only able to get through this review by liberal use of the jokes employed by the crew. It never gets to the point of ‘so bad it’s good’ and just stays awful. Use of alcohol is strongly recommended to get through this movie.

Uncredited Meatloaf cameo

The Package

The first time I watched this, I wanted to forget that this movie existed and so I skipped the interview with the director. The second time (Yes, I inflicted this film on myself twice for the sake of this review.), I watched the interview beforehand and it actually provides some interesting background on the making of the film. For example, Fred Williamson asked to be written into the script so that he had an excuse to extend his stay in Rome. He is a good sport about his film being the butt of so many jokes and even finds the time to shit on Renny Harlin. If anything, this disc could have done without any extras for the same reason that I skipped the interview initially. That said, Shout! Factory still earns some bonus points due to the quality of the extra.

BUY FROM AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Shout! Factory
MSRP:$64.99
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 360 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Santa Claus Conquers The Devil: A 50-Year Retrospective
• Original Santa Claus Trailer
• Original Radio Spot
• Stills Gallery
• Teaser Trailer For The Wonder World of K. Gordon Murray in Colorscope

The Pitch

Satan is tired of all the good deeds of Santa and sends “The Devil” aka Pitch to put a stop to it. 

The Humans

Jose Elias Moreno, Jose Luis Aguirre

The Nutshell

Satan tries to tempt children to behave badly on Christmas Eve, going so far as to try and capture Santa himself. Luckily Santa has a variety of magical items to assist him courtesy of Merlin. Did I mention that Santa lives in a castle on a floating island?

The Lowdown

The film begins with Santa introducing his labor force, which are children instead of elves, by having them enact stereotypes from their native lands. Each region or group will have its children stare into the camera while looking confused and possibly trying to sing a ‘representative’ song. The mix of breaking traditional Santa Claus lore with utter bizarreness gives us a good taste of what is to come in this film.

I should probably be offended by this…

Next we are introduced to the antagonist of the film, Pitch, in his native Hell. Lucifer demands he put a stop to Santa’s gift giving. This exchange is a little confusing because Pitch is referred to as The Devil, but apparently is only a servant of Satan. Pitch’s appearance is also pretty typical of a portrayal of Satan, besides the pantaloons and the constant dancing.  His ineptitude is similar to that of a cartoon villain, but you would think the world would be a better place if that were the case.

My most terrifying film moment of 2009…

After a nightmarish store window Santa, we are introduced to three sets of children that we will follow through the rest of the film. There is a rich kid whose parents are always gone, a goodhearted poor girl, and three brothers that are up to no good. Pitch tries to influence the girl and the brothers to behave badly, but for some reason the rich boy is left alone. He starts by tormenting little Lupita, tries to get her to steal a doll, but she ultimately is able to resist the temptation. Pitch gives her a nightmare about giant dolls as punishment.  The sheer cuteness of Lupita and her hardships make for some genuinely heart-wrenching scenes. Even the biggest Grinch would have trouble not being moved when she asks her mother why Santa does not like her and has never given her presents.

…until I saw this laughing reindeer.

Then it is Santa’s big night and we are introduced to Santa’s various magical items including a parasol, dreaming powder, and a flower to disappear (from Merlin of course). Pitch now tries a series of Home Alone –esque traps to stop Santa is his tracks and is thwarted at every turn. For some reason, Pitch thinks the three naughty brothers will have more success, but they are equally ineffective.  Eventually, he steals the magic dreaming powder and flower to disappear and unleashes Santa’s mortal enemy, a dog. Needless to say he eventually escapes and is even able to deliver the doll little Lupita so deserves.

Santa has to call on his friend Merlin, to escape from this situation. Seriously.

This film is the jewel of the set; it is so utterly bizarre and unique that the commentary from Mike and company is not necessary.  Unlike the other episodes, I would genuinely be able to recommend the original movie wholeheartedly.  I plan to revisit the film every holiday season; hopefully spreading the experience to those unaware of this gem.

The Package

The 50-Year Retrospective of this film provides some pretty interesting insights into this bizarre little gem. Apparently, this film was director, Rene Cardona’s, attempt to introduce Santa Claus to Mexico. And like any great artists, he gives his own unique take on the character. Rather than separating Santa from Christianity, he melds the lore of both, yielding the film you see before you. The documentary actually serves to elevate your appreciation of Santa Claus.

SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Night of the Blood Beast (Turkey Day Version)
• Turkey Day ’95 Intros
• Original Night of the Blood Beast Trailer

The Pitch

A spacecraft picks up an unexpected passenger on its trip and crashes in a remote location in the mountains.

The Humans

John Baer, Angela Green, Ed Nelson, Georgianna Carter, Michael Emmet, Tyler McVey

The Nutshell

An astronaut that is declared dead is showing signs that he may still be alive. It turns out an alien has implanted its offspring into the astronaut, giving him a second chance at life. The crew view the alien with hostility and the astronaut becomes its advocate even after the murder of one of the crew members. Where will the astronaut’s loyalties lie when the fate of humanity rests on his shoulders?

The Lowdown

This episode starts out with a silly musical short about a young couple who never had a honeymoon. They are all packed and ready to finally take one when he gets a call from his boss demanding that he rewrite the music for his latest song. He grudgingly agrees to postpone his honeymoon once again and write a new song. Writer’s block strikes and luckily the couple’s fruity guardian angel inspires them with angel dust…Before inspiration hits, the wife sings and dances about what she wishes her house had, which looks suspiciously like an ad for the latest 50’s appliances.

Proof that the Westboro Baptist Church is wrong.

And now for our feature presentation. An improbably small NASA crash recovery team discovers that their astronaut colleague, Maj. John Corcoran (Michael Emmet), is dead. However, there are many irregularities that challenge this evaluation, for one, his blood now looks like a cartoon. For the first half of the movie, the Blood Beast primarily disrupts the group and acts as a saboteur, isolating them from the outside world.  Dr. Wyman (Tyler McVey) dominates this part of the movie using believable pseudo-science to explain why the condition of the fallen astronaut does not make sense. The other doctor and fiancé of John, Dr. Benson (Angela Greene), is mostly emotionless, but randomly decides to overact to express her grief.

Blood beast babies are an endangered species, coming to a billboard near you.

The rest of the movie alternates between the expecting alien mother, John, defending the monster, and the rest of the crew trying to kill it. Eventually, John agrees to use his connection to the monster to feel out its location so that the crew can hear it out (but not before they prepare a batch of Molotov cocktails). The alien has the typical sob story of his people ruining their world and needing humans to help revive its species. John thinks this is horrible and aborts his blood beast babies by killing himself; personally I thought the alien sounded pretty reasonable. The Blood Beast is treated to a baptism of fire while threatening that more of his kind will hitch a ride on future spacecraft.

So this film is basically Mystery Science Theater’s bread and butter. It is incredibly mediocre and at times laughably bad on its own and Mike and crew inject jokes with ease. Even the running joke of calling everyone Steve still makes me laugh late into the film. They do such a great job that it is hard to separate the badness of the film from the jokes that make it so enjoyable to sit through.

The Package

This disc includes both the version that was aired during the Turkey Day ’95 marathon as well as the version that was aired subsequently. To put things into context it also includes the various introductions to the other films in the aforementioned marathon. There are cameos of characters from other episodes coming to visit Dr. Forrester for an unexpected Thanksgiving dinner, including The Devil from Santa Claus. I personally prefer the normal version because it has jokes directly pertaining to the short and feature film. If I had seen all the episodes that the characters come from I may have had a greater appreciation for the repeat appearances.

8.0 out of 10

Admit it. You want me.

Overall Package

There has been a recent explosion of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes on Netflix Instant Watch and since I did not have cable during the original airing of the show, this is how I have discovered many episodes of this great show. So why get this set instead of watching another episode on Instant Watch? A great deal of love was put into this set which can only come from a true appreciation for fans of the show. Not only are the covers of the individual discs great, they include mini-posters of each one to plaster on your wall. You also get a Tom Servo toy to further clutter your workspace. My parents bought me enough media related toys in the 80’s to last a lifetime and generally I avoid such mantoys, but I do not mind showing my love to MST3k. In addition to the special features mentioned in the reviews for the individual movies, each one has an animated menu where Tom and Crow re-enact scenes from the disc’s respective film. This is the first time I have seen animated menus that did not seem tacked on and were actually very well done. One drawback is that the discs do not include chapters to easily skip around the individual films.

How I felt after finishing this box set review

Overall Score:  8.0 out of 10

SPECIAL FEATURES:
•Original The Corpse Vanishes Trailer

The Pitch

Bela Lugosi in a coffin is money in the bank.

The Humans

Bela Lugosi, Luana Walters, Tristram Coffin, Elizabeth Russell, Angelo Rossitto

The Nutshell

Dr. Lorenz’s (Bela Lugosi) wife (Elizabeth Russell) has a terminal disease and needs the juice of virgin brides to sustain herself. All goes according to plan until reporter, Patricia Hunter (Luana Walters), starts poking around the Lorenz household.

This episode starts with a short, Commander Cody & The Radar Men From The Moon. As is typical for these shorts, this is a good time to make some popcorn or some other kind of snack before the feature presentation begins. If you long for the days when aliens were only differentiated by spandex and heroes looked like The Rocketeer, this short is for you. It is pretty forgettable and unfortunately there are no chapters, so you cannot skip it easily.

Bela Lugosi’s lost screen test for Re-Animator

After a thrilling serial cliffhanger, The Corpse Vanishes begins. While you would expect MST3k to tackle Bela Lugosi’s Ed Wood collaborations, this film occurs during Lugosi’s ‘typecasted years’. A film that is conceptually a mad scientist film becomes a borderline vampire film most likely due to the casting of Lugosi. While Lugosi does not feed himself, his wife requires injections from the ‘youth glands’ of young brides on their wedding day. It is unclear why this must occur during the ceremony when the bride has the attention of all in attendance. This is further muddied by the fact that the reporter is apparently a suitable candidate for youth juice extraction despite not being a bride. If the life-sustaining neck extractions are not vampiritic enough for you, Lugosi and his wife prefer to sleep in coffins. In addition, Lugosi has a sideshow of henchman including a hunchback with a hair fetish and a dwarf that is reminiscent of the bully’s sidekick in A Christmas Story.

Rule 1: Don’t go to sleep at Bela Lugosi’s House

Without a Gil Grissom or Jack McCoy to solve the mystery, Lugosi’s bride stealing operations have so far remained undetected. It is up to the archetypal nosy female reporter, Patricia Hunter, to crack the case so that her archetypal newspaper editor will not fire her. Her only clue is the strange species of orchid that were delivered just before the brides dropped dead. Apparently, since it is a flower, only a woman could have noticed such an obvious clue. Coincidentally, there is an eccentric doctor that specializes in this exact species of orchid.

Rule 2: Don’t go to sleep at Bela Lugosi’s house

So naturally our intrepid reporter hitches a ride to his house and is stranded there by a storm. She agrees to spend the night even though she suspects Dr. Lorentz (Lugosi) of murdering several women and that his wife ‘bitchslaps’ her upon introduction. After several members of the Lorentz household come and go via a hidden passage in the Patricia’s bedroom, the reporter only wakes up when Mike the Hunchback decides to indulge in his favorite pastime, stroking the hair of unconscious women. It is due to this fright that she discovers the Lorentz’s sleeping arrangements and decides to snoop around and find the hidden passage in her room.

As is typical of old Hollywood, husband and wife are forced to sleep in separate coffins.

The Package

This DVD is the most disappointing with regard to bonus features. If you are looking for any background information on The Corpse Vanishes you will have to look elsewhere. It is also worth noting that the picture quality is lacking and at times it is way too dark.