Peeing is vital and oftentimes amazing. The release is untouchable. The reward, bountiful. The unavoidable last drops, palpable. Ever since I was a wee wee lad peeing has been a time to reflect, a time to learn, and a time I can legally hold my business in the company of others. It’s supposed to be a private time, though it is often a chance to witness our fellow men and women at their worst. There’s nothing quite like having a guy walk up, put both hands on the wall like he’s under arrest and proceed to grunt, piss and fart until the damage is done. It’s as if the laws of civilization no longer apply.

Peeing in the movies is no new occurrence, having debuted way back in the late 1800’s in the B&W silent pisser ‘Bathroom Frivolities’ and come into its heyday in the 70’s and 80’s as people were pissed on, folks were forced to drink the wet wildness, and person water etched a yellow valley through the heart of celluloid. Some piss may or may not make its way into our Body Function Junction list (you’ll have to wet and see), but here’s a few honorable mentions for your viewing relief. Also near and dear to our hearts are Huey Lewis’s impromptu Short Cuts piss, Holy Smoke‘s Winslet Wake, The Big Lebowski‘s carpet ruination, and Melanie Griffith’s Daniels-shocking dripper in Something Wild.

Enjoy:

I.

The Movie: Rawhead Rex
The Pisser: Rawhead Rex
The Pissed: Sneaky turncoat priest Declan O’Brien

Rawhead Rex pisses on a priest. At some point in the 80’s a crew assembled and took a look at the call sheet and read that they were to shoot a nine foot tall demon urinating on a man of God. Folks, it gets no better.

II.


The Movie: Jeepers Creepers 2
The Pisser(s): Shirtless athletic boys
The Pissed: Heterosexual Males

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that this scene wasn’t necessary. And I know it had nothing to do with the fact that the writer/director of the film did time for having inappropriate action with a young man. And I know that a bunch of buff guys in their early teens pissing communally has a place in a sequel to a horror film about a winged asshole that eats you.

III.


The Movie: Waterworld
The Pisser: The Mariner
The Pissed: A delightful drinkin’ receptacle

All epic movies should start with someone cookin’ themselves breakfast, as Mr. Kevin Costner does here. It’s the future. He needs to drink. There’s no soda and salt water will cold cock your ass. So he squirts piss, runs it through a piss cleaner, and drinks it up like cognac. You’d do the same damn thing.

IV.


The Movie: Doc Hollywood
The Pisser(s): Michael J. Fox & Julie Warner
The Pissed: A delightful drinkin’ receptacle

Comedy gold is Michael J. Fox and a friend pissing all over the woods. How did that make it through each rewrite? Michael J. Fox had some power back then, you’d think he’s have been like “let’s get rid of that scene where we keep pissing everywhere in the forest”. It never happened. Somewhere on the blu-ray of Doc Hollywood I hear there’s the original footage of Eric Stoltz pissing in the woods, but he wasn’t pissconvincing enough.

That’s all we care to share, but if you want to lose yourself in a pile of collection piss scenes, urine luck.