Vogue has just posted some Annie Leibovitz shots from the upcoming horribly titled and rightfully feared Spider-Man Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, and well, they speak for themselves.
I’ve walked past the theater a few times in NYC (it’s right near the E-Walk, across from the AMC 25 on 42nd St) and shaken my head a few times at the signs, and now it’s your turn. If you haven’t heard, music for this “musical” has been composed by none other than Bono and the Edge from U2. Two of their songs are titled “Rise bove” and “Boy falls from the sky.”
I’ll let that sit for a second while you contemplate it, along with Green Goblin’s mohawk.
The 60 million dollar musical is the most expensive of all time, so expensive that they had to get cheaper actors (Evan Rachel Wood was originally supposed to be Mary Jane). If Green Goblin is not bad enough to terrify you, watch out for the cocoa-y evilness of this new evildoer, Swiss Miss!
Egads. Here’s a look at Peter Parker and Mary Jane.
Head over to Vogue for details about the production and larger pictures, if they interest you. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark hits in January and god damn it, I might be there just to see how bad it is.
50 comments
Seriously?
Y'all really need to work on the names of your stories.
just wait for the reviews. It's broadway, too, so obviously everything would look different. I like the look of the Green Goblin for broadway
GODDAMNIT I wanted to hate it but I'm REALLY liking this!
wow. a 9-11 joke. what an asshole.
"It’s no secret that CHUD has entered a new era. We’re moving forward and growing by leaps and bounds and we’ve already started bringing you the awesome with more surprises in store."
Hey surprise! There really isn't anything funny about Flight 175. Notice how no one makes Flight 175 jokes. What the fuck is going on here? How can this site have gone so far off the rails? Where is Nick? This is either the worst judgement call, or a truly pathetic drive for site hits. Either way it's complete, and utter garbage. CHUD needs to get it's shit straight, and quick.
Carnage actually looks kinda cool…for a Broadway musical.
And I like how you make that comment that you are actually thinking about buying a ticket. I think this will make back most of its money just because curiosity will get people in seats.
Too SOON! Too Soon! Too Soon!
9/11 Joke, isn't very funny, or clever. Just tasteless… congrats
TOO SOON!!!!!
OKAY FINE! A GUY WALKS INTO A TALENT AGENT'S OFFICE AND SAYS HAVE I GOT AN ACT FOR YOU….
At least 9/11 rallied the nation together in a euphoric sense of Americanism…this musical on the other hand…makes me wish I was dead! (Grant my wish?)
I'm really only half-joking about wanting to see it, but we'll wait and see when the ticket prices are announced to completely dash my dreams of experiencing this mess. It's bad enough when Pee Wee's going for a buck 20 a seat, you can only imagine what these guys are going to charge.
I told you Alex fucking sucks at headlines.
I love the indignation over a 9/11 gag from a bunch of soiled-diaper wearing weiners who equate every bad Sci-Fi sequel or comic book property with violent sexual assault. You'd think Jar Jar piloted that plane into the World Trade Center…
According to the article, Spider-Man swings around and barely misses kicking the heads of audience members by a few inches. Jesus, I smell a law suit in the near future.
That's pretty horrible Alex… To say I'm disappointed in you and the rest of the CHUD staff for even letting you print that is an understatement.
It's official — the terrah'ists have won!
It's hard work putting together one of these websites — I KNOW THAT — but don't misunderstimate you're audience!
Haven't heard a 9/11 joke in a while. Not the best I've heard. Nor the worst. I made some pretty bad ones in my day, and this is from someone who knew people in the area when that shit went down. No pun intended.
Yeah, Alex. Too Soon. The headline should have been: "THE SPIDER-MAN MUSICAL- WORST THING TO HIT NYC SINCE AIDS?"
I laughed at the headline the very second I saw it. Nothing should ever be 'beyond' or 'above' humor, guys. Nothing should be untouchable by comedy. Comedy is how we heal, and how we avoid giving terrorists power over us. Anyway, moving onto the topic at hand: Wow those photos are something else. SwissMissWTF? I hope they use her in the reboot. Because… that shit is comedy gold right there. I would love to see this – especially the part where Spidey swings over the audience. Maybe I'd love the comedy, but maybe it actually all works in context? I mean, the Lion King costumes looked asinine until you saw the show, too…
C'mon Alex – it's not edgy, nor is it funny. It's just fucking uncool. But old farts like me are so out of touch! Sarcasm is so hip and modern, why not riff on Hurricane Katrina, or lynchings, or child rape or something? Then all your hip, latte-drinking faux intellectual fucktard web friends can snicker about how you're "pushing the envelope."
#7: This musical is going to have to do a lot better than just get "curiosity" sales. This isn't like a film, where once the film gets released, you just have to make back your initial outlay in a week or two. Every week that it plays, it's costing money (as much as $1million/week), so the process of making back the money is long and arduous. They're saying it's going to have to do Lion King (Taymor's last broadway hit) level box office to break even.
Am I the only person that notices the lack in quality of the still photographs. This does NOT look like the work of Annie Leibovitz. I guess declaring bankruptcy will have that effect on you.
As long as we're talking about the musical and not the headline–Jesus Christ but this looks AWFUL. I'm astonished. Swiss Miss? What? This show sounds more and more like a theme park stunt show every time I hear about it.
#23: Add your post to the list of 'not funny'.
….THE ARISTOCRATS!
Here's how you could have introduced this story with a headline that screams DISASTER without being in poor taste: "Spiderman: The Musical". That speaks for itself. You're welcome.
Is Julie Taymor is doing a 9/11 musical starring spider-man? Cus I would like to see that!
It actually doesn't look that bad to me. Granted I'm no Spidey nut, but really why all the premature hate? As for that 9/11 joke…its not that its too early, its just not funny. I'm a New Yorker, I have vivid memories of that day, and yes I still laugh at genuinely funny 9/11 jokes. That joke was just tasteless.
*chuckles* flight 175 *chuckles* about time people started laughing about it…
Infidels! When dirty heathen New Yorkers start to mock the dead of their own city from our attacks then we have truly won. Allah be praised. This Alex fellow shows much promise, we shall recruit him into one of our terror cells that shall rain holy fire down from the skies!
Leibovitz?!!? WTF!!! There is something very odd about those pics, besides their awfulness. It all looks so wrong, especially the first one with the Barbie doll and the red stains…so…urgh.
The only reason I clicked on this post was the title. I could give a fuck about a Spider-Man musical, good or bad. But the title was just fantastic enough to make me take a peek.
Alex just became the absolute worst thing about this website.
Done with this site. That's the last straw…and no I'm not over reacting. It's been shaky for 6 months now (minimum) anyway. Delete Bookmark.
Nature abhors a vacuum (Devin) but loves an asshole (Alex). #26 – nothing gets past you!
Empty the sand out of your collective vaginas, you pantywaists.
If you're more affected by the headline than the musical, you're at the wrong site.
Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
9/11.
(End of Joke.)
Too Soon? September the 10th of 2001 is too soon. Nobody would get any of the jokes ;(
That was funny, if you are offended by the title. Leave the fucking site, you are a tightwad and we are all better off without you.
Alex Riviello – worst thing to hit Chud since… well he's just the worst thing. If you're gonna do a 9/11 joke to express your pathetic nerd rage at a musical which you will probably never even see again, at least make it funny. It such an obvious, cheap thing to do. You're a tool, Alex.
Well, I won't promise I'll never visit the site again, but this is a good example of why I visit less and less and will continue that going foward. This is a symptom of a larger problem with the site. A half-assed, poorly thought out 9/11 joke in order to grab some sort of attention to get an article read by a mediocre writer. Why even continue the site? It's obvious no one really gives a shit anymore. It's washed up like an old rock band playing songs in a hotel lounge just to buy booze and drugs to numb the pain of reality.
The joke headline is funny. Musical theater is lame. I'm with ya, chud.
Cripes, there's a lot of high-strung pansies on this site. It's a humorous headline. Get over it.
Whoa, chill out folks. It's no longer "too soon." Indeed it was a shocking and tragic event, but I think most of us have moved on. If you really want to be pissed and send hate-mail, go pick on Uwe Boll. (see "Postal" for clarification on that). Alex, keep up the good work, go see the play, and put a freakin' Holocaust joke in the next headline!
ah well, at least you've taken the moral outrage away from Nick for liking Avatar. I dunno about the musical, costumes have to be ridiculously larger than life as it's a stage show so they're likely to be miles away from most crappy ass seats (except the lawsuit waiting to happen ones) so they probably work in reality but the idea of it being a musical… urgh.
Egads this looks like shite.
Do I have to be the first one to say: This is what happens when you let a woman "re-imagine" a beloved American icon. It is already the most expensive play in history and will cost 1 mil a week to produce. Changing shit creates resentment=less butts in the seats. Not only that, but the guy handing the contracts to U2 died on the spot (true story). This will die a slow, miserable death….like the vulture (I'll let you website fags take that for a headline, at least it's somewhat clever)
Spiderman on Broadway: A Tangled Web.
A $65 Million train wreck you can't afford to miss.
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