Let me begin by stressing that I know this isn’t official casting news. I know this is a director just rattling off a wish-list of names. I also am well aware that Preacher has been through the development gauntlet for years, with actors and directors signed on far more firmly than D.J. Caruso or his pals.
It does not make this any less horrifying.
CloneWeb (via ComingSoon) sat down with Caruso to discuss I Am Number Four, and Preacher came up. Last I knew, Caruso wasn’t officially on board, but since he says he’ll be turning to that next, I assume that’s changed.
Caruso happily dropped his dream cast in the lap of the Internet. If he had his way, Chris Pine would be Jesse Custer, Shia LaBeouf would be Arseface (and has apparently expressed interest in the role), and Alex Pettyfer would be the Saint of All Killers.
I do not need to tell you how wrong those choices are. Even if you’ve never read Preacher, you can glance at the graphic to your right and know Pine ain’t Jesse Custer. (And I like Pine. He’s just not Custer and never will be. It’s not his fault.)
I’d fill this space with a lot of fluff about how I don’t think Preacher will happen, that Caruso will go the way of so many directors before him, none of those actors will even touch their pen to a contract, and so on. But frankly, I’ve seen just about every character I adore be mangled and twisted on a cinema in recent years. Every. Single. One. And knowing our abysmal geek luck, this is exactly the Preacher adaptation that will take off.
I suggest we go and prepare our souls.
17 comments
What?! I’m not usually one to flip out about such casting decisions this early in the filmmaking process, since these things always change, but wow. Particularly Alex Pettyfer as the Saint of All Killers. **!!??!!** That right there is a clear indication that Mr. Caruso has absolutely no idea what he’s working with. Preacher is Ennis’ American Western homage, and The Saint is entirely based on a Clint Eastwood/reformed outlaw turned bad again archetype. Honestly, I almost can’t believe that this story is true simply because I can’t wrap my brain around anyone actually having read Preacher and thinking that this blonde hunky kid would ever be a good fit for The Saint. Ever. In a zillion years.
I will say that I could almost see LaBeouf in the role of Arseface as a sort of ironic role for him, given his backstory.
But, that might be my subconscious trying to find some degree of peace and goodness in what is otherwise horrible, scary news. Leave Preacher alone. It doesn’t need to be a movie.
I like Chris Pine a lot and I think I could warm up to him as Custer. LaBeouf would actually be inspired for Arseface. But I am not usually somebody who advocates violence, but Caruso deserves to a thundering baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire to the balls for even thinking Alex Pettyfer should be anywhere near this, ESPECIALLY as the Saint of Killers. Thomas Haden Church or William Fichtner would be a dream in that role, not that effeminate pretty boy who Hollywood is trying to shove down our throats. Is he even aware of the box office numbers for I Am Number Four?
UGH. Of course LaBoof is gonna be in it, they’re homies after all….
Cast should be Matthew McCougnhey as Jesse, Michael Fassbender as Cassidy, Brooke Langton as Tulip, Dolph Lundgren as the Saint Of Killers, Thomas Kretschmann as Herr Starr, and a nobody as Arseface, since he’s not really a major character anyway
Oh, I almost forgot to ask — who would you cast, Elisabeth? Ten or so years ago, Johnny Depp would have been a great fit for Jesse. Now, though… hm….
Oh yeah, and with Aronofsky off The Wolverine, *he* should be the one directing this. But seriously, I feel like I’m going to go into roid-rage over Pettyfer.
P.S.: Farrell or Fassbender for Cassidy.
Exactly. It’s simply ghastly to hear how little Caruso grasps any of it, and that Sony would be like “Better to make a bomb than not make it at all.”
It’s on video, otherwise I would have brushed it off as someone taking liberties with their transcription for traffic hits, which has been known to happen from time to time.
Pine doesn’t sound too bad, and I’m a huge Preacher fan. He’s got that swagger about him, which really works for Custer. Given the director involved, I figured we’d be hearing that Shia was his top pick for the lead, but if he’s up for Arseface, that could be a lot of fun, both for the character AND for people that wish that Shia WOULD shoot himself in the face. While I’d love to see Arseface speak entirely in subtitles (he’s always incomprehensible, but they translate him for you at the bottom of the panels), it would also be interesting if they just went with the Chewbacca approach, where you’re left to try to figure out what the hell he’s talking about based on other characters’ reactions (“You said it, Chewie”). I’m not liking Pettyfer at all, and this was probably more lip service for him than anything because Caruso was promoting the film he had just made with him. Aside from Pettyfer being an awful actor, he’s also at least 30 years younger than what the Saint needs to be, as he’s basically Clint Eastwood in “Unforgiven” with a supernatural twist.
Ugh. On video, huh? So, it’s true. Dashed my hopes against the rock of reality there. Ah well. I’ll just read it all again and feel better.
Oh wow, there weren’t any comments yet when I started writing that, so I guess I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said already.
It’s all good. We’re all in agreement that this sucks it.
Oh man, so many of my picks aged themselves out of it (Clive Owen was one of my picks, Hugh Jackman would have been all right if they’d done it around X2) that I’m hard pressed to think of any.
But Timothy Olyphant would probably be who I’d pick for Jesse. Custer has to be old-school and Southern fried, and Olyphant is the only young American actor working who has that grit.
Elizabeth Banks or Kate Winslet for Tulip. I can only echo the other popular picks for Cassidy — Farrell or Fassbender,
Shia LeBouf in anything makes my brain hurt. What is Hollywood’s infatuation with this kid anyways? No no no no no no no no no!!!
As bad as those casting ideas are, what Caruso says about the book and how he interprets it are even worse. A battle of good and evil and whether or not the demons win? Has this fucking idiot ever even opened a book or is he just already intent on reducing it down to the simplest formula imaginable while taking out any relgious controversy? His name attached means automatic PG-13 as well.
Once again, I have no idea why Hollywood likes to pay for fringe properties and then turn them into something unrecognizable from the source material and alienate any fanbase that it would have had. On what planet does trying to make a movie out of Preacher sound like a good idea?
Elizabeth you said every character you adore has been mangled onscreen… could you share which ones specifically?
Wolverine and Jonah Hex are probably the big two with their respective solo films. And I’ll throw Black Widow in just for color….
If you are cutting the story of The Preacher down to two hours, how is Arseface even in the movie? He is a minor character who doesn’t even figure into the main plot or the climax. I’d hate to see him go, but when you only have two hours to work with, Arseface can’t make the cut.
Just the fact that every discussion about this project mentions casting choices for Arseface, but never even brings up Herr Starr tells me that these guys don’t get it.
J.E. Freeman has to be the Saint of Killers. I will accept no other.
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