Taylor Lautner’s not-ready-for-the-big-screen nostrils are going to be hitting homes on VOD in an aggressive new business model for Lionsgate as they take his sure to be awful Abduction (cutting-edge poster analysis) and send it screaming towards the home market a scant three months after people don’t see it theaters.
If you haven’t seen the trailer yet you need to get off your ass and continue to not see it. Remember when you were a kid and you made home movies with your friends and you were all playing cops and robbers and you were 12? This looks sort of like that. A nicely budgeted studio film with real people holding the cameras and pointing fingers and manipulating lights with an infant in front of the lens. Taylor Lautner is wildly successful and has a massive fan base but it looks as if an action hero’s double’s little brother was filling in while they set the lighting and they accidentally filmed and released the movie.
Anyway… Lionsgate made the film (maybe it was ‘bring your nephew to the board meeting’ day when this was greenlit) and because the market it a tricky bitch they’ve decided to test the VOD waters and experiment a little with this John Singleton nightmare of an error.
It’ll be interesting to see where this leads. No it will not. It will absolutely not be interesting.
For the alarmingly low price point of $6.99 for Standard Def and $7.99 for High Def you can avoid watching a boy run around like a man.
5 comments
Run Sharkboy, run!
My eleven year old niece would hate you for this article. However, I think this “accidentally filmed and released” phenomena you speak of happens more than we care to admit.
I teach 7th and 8th graders. In June, none of them knew there was a Harry Potter movie coming over the summer, but every girl knew about this. I don’t know what that implies, but I just thought I’d share.
And John Singleton really directed this? Intervention time!
Serious intervention time for John Singleton. Whatever happened to the filmmaker who was praised by Spielberg for the drama in Boyz N The Hood? Seems like he lost his way around the time he met Tyrese. Baby Boy is shit, 2 Fast 2 Furious is fun junk and Four Brothers was pretty decent. Then, nothing, other than Singleton flirting with directing The A-Team. Or maybe Singleton lost his way when making Shaft, which was pretty terrible other than Christian Bale and Jeffrey Wright’s performances (strange that neither of the standouts in a movie called Shaft was the man who played Shaft himself. Sam Jackson seemed to just be playing himself for the thousandth time and his version of the private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks go absolutely no pussy other than the one his stunt double got in the credits.) Either way, and whether we take past films into account or not, a Taylor Lautner movie does not look like a return to form for Mr. Singleton.
Orrrrrrr maybe we can blame the Transformers movies for tying up Tyrese for a good couple of years, therefore making it more difficult for Singleton and Tyrese to work together again. Who knows?
Comments are shown as archived from the original site; new comments are closed.