116 posts
Last week I was M.I.A. with a nasty viral infection and rather preferred to rest. I appreciated everyone’s concerns, even the e-mail I got that just said “WHERE IS IT?!?” Not one to second guess anyone, but, one wonders where it is. Nazi Bullets In Your Ass… Continue reading
While Pirates are so goddamned en vogue right now, I suppose the hordes of Halloween copycats can do one thing right. Dance With Jack Ketch There’s the oft-quoted maxim that you can never have too much of a good thing, but Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead… Continue reading
Now that you’re currently (and quite crazily) imbued with the shady score known as Tryptophan H and have made a fool of yourself with the consummation of everything, this – to put it bluntly – ain’t no time to pause. When I was younger, more foolish and a… Continue reading
The merciless Holidays are upon us! As usual, this week is muted compared to others. Nevertheless, I think the high power is guiding us on our weekly digital quests. Sit This One Out I can imagine families gathering ‘round their overstuffed bellies this week,… Continue reading
The reason for my lackadaisical posting of this column wasn’t because the dog ate it or even because I just plain forgot. No, I believe I can pin it on one man. Jesus H. Christ Calling the supremely disappointing The Da Vinci Code anything less than severe… Continue reading
In honor of this sacred day, let’s kick the bums straight where it hurts. Gluteus Maximus The engine block of Cars suggests that it’s a raging Dauer 962 LeMans, but in reality, it’s more or less missing that 2.6 second speed acceleration. For starters, the… Continue reading
While the movies CHUD loves seem to flounder in theatres, this is where DVD comes in. Hopefully you’ve bought one of the most entertaining movies of the year (if not, click here), showering Slither’s home video tracking rating to its proper place (numero… Continue reading
It didn’t start out this way. I had fully fired up my cranium to discuss the weekly barrage of DVD releases with my usual uninformed slobbering gusto, but instead, you’re going to have to settle with the trickiest of all informants: yourself. As scary as that… Continue reading
We’re gonna go to the warehouses, and then we’re gonna go to the stores, and then we’re gonna go straight into your homes. Yeargh At its center, Slither is a horror-comedy, and that’s a tough sell – probably why you didn’t go see it. The underperformance of… Continue reading
To those who didn’t wonder where I was, I believe the answer can be found in the Holy Scriptures. Eat Me During the supposedly final wobbly season of Project Greenlight, chances are you, like me, had no idea how the hell Director John Gulager was going to… Continue reading
It’s not really in my (to paraphrase) “lying, yellow, no-good keister” nature to withhold The Special Edition from pumping your guts full of lead. Although it does happen. Unfortunately, due to my day (and now night and soon-to-be weekend) job foisting its… Continue reading
Honestly, man, I can’t afford the ticket. Suffragette City I make no bones about my veritable dislike of Brett Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand (read Devin’s so-so review), particularly because it’s moderately maddening. Evidentially, he’s a charming guy, but… Continue reading
