Day Six – Revenge of the Pink Panther
If the world were to fall into ruin and humanity were to perish the Polish poster for The Revenge of the Pink Panther is on the short list for the time capsule showcasing the finest and most unique things to emerge from our brief reign on this floating shitbox. With us long dead and our buildings razed, this poster could really flummox a space visitor. The thought warms me. The Polish have brought the world many things… I think. Their finest export by far has been their movie posters, bizarre and oftentimes jaw-dropping interpretations of films from all over the world. Sometimes literal examinations of their source but sometimes absolutely batshit pieces of art that almost take on a life of their own. Over the next fifteen weekdays I’ll be sharing some of the best examples of how these creative necromancers interpret American cinema. The Revenge of the Pink Panther was the last official performance by Peter Sellers in his signature role and though he’s never bad in anything it’s a rather weak entry in the series. Worse yet, his shoulders stay perfectly intact throughout the movie.
The Polish poster features a ridiculously muscled Peter Sellers with his shoulders exploding. His shoulders exploding. let me repeathisshouldersexploding.
His shoulders, exploding.
I think I know how this came to be.
A Polish artist sits in his lair working on his next opus, an illustration of a man with his shoulders exploding. Or possibly the cover the box of Atari 2600 classic Shoulder Exploder even though the system was just about to hit the market. Maybe he gets a phone call from the Blake Edward camp’s Krakow HQ saying “We need a poster, pronto!”. Perhaps he doesn’t have time to make something or maybe Atari decided to cancel his assignment. Maybe he saw on 60 Minutes that the market for exploding shoulder renderings was shrinking. So he cheats a little. A little less bodybuilder head and a little more Pete Sellers. Mission: Accomplished.
What would this movie be like?
Like the best Bond film ever. In the pre-credits sequence Inspector Clouseau’s shoulders blow out and up. The rest of the movie features the bumbling character taking medication, losing massive amounts of productivity to fatigue, and a subplot where his assistant hunts down shoulder donors in a city filled with people needing things holding their arms up.
Who is the audience for this film?
Jack Sholder. Eli Roth. Jack Lalane. Me.
What the fucking fuck is fucking fucking?
This is beyond time, space, and Thunderdome. There is no kernel of logic in a world this fucked.
The domestic poster for Revenge of the Pink Panther:
Tagline vs. Tagline?
There is no tagline on either, though one that could work for either is this:
“HOLY FUCK MY SHOULDERS!”
What other movies could effectively use this poster?
Prince Caspian. The Getaway. Army of Darkness. Blow Out. Blow Up. Enchanted.
Tomorrow: Kinda classy but still jacked up.
Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) 99 min
To prove that he still is strong and powerful, Philippe Douvier decides to kill Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau...
- 07.19.1978 (UK)
- Blake Edwards
- Frank Waldman
- Ron Clark
- Peter Sellers
- Herbert Lom
- Burt Kwouk
- Dyan Cannon
- Robert Webber
- Watch or buy now