Short on stars and long on profitability, the Date Movie/Epic Movie/Meet the Spartans yet wheezes. And as long as the writing/directing duo of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer can keep delivering $18 million opening weekends, there’s no reason to expect that their depressing brand of unfunny will go the way of Ted Wass anytime soon.
This film – which begins shooting today in Shreveport for an August 29th release (the first time a film has been rushed into production for a Labor Day weekend debut?) – is currently untitled, so who knows what hugely popular Hollywood entertainment they’ll be skewering this time. I Am Legend? Harry Potter? The Scary Movie franchise? Since they’ve already “parodied” the broad comedy of Along Came Polly, why not go the meta-moronic route?
Normally, I wouldn’t bother with this shit, but one particular bit of casting (aside from noted hole, Kim Kardashian) intrigued me: G-Thang. After resolving the obligatory rapper/comedian conundrum (he’s a comic), I went searching for G-Thang’s greatest hits, hoping to find the next Shucky Ducky. I am happy to report that he’s so much more than that. Ever wonder how Ray Charles fucked? ‘Cuz, you know, he’s blind and shit? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you G-Thang.
“Just put the dick where it’s supposed to go.” Women, as ever, be shoppin’.
10 comments
Don't care at all about the movie, but funny write-up, Jeremy.
mn they [etitioned the shutdown of uwe boll.. maybe if that works this'll be next? lol
There's no one else to blame but America for these films. I do not know a single person who finds these funny but somehow they make money.
MEET THE SPARTANS OPENED AT NUMBER ONE IN AMERICA I BELIEVE. N U WONDER WHY THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS YOU A NATION OF DUMB ILLITERATE FUCKS. I KNOW MOST OF YOU ARENT, BUT STILL…
He had a fridge and a couch on stage……cuz he be all fat n shit.
Epic Movie is hands down the worst movie I have ever seen. Usually bad movies just offer nothing, but this goes beyond nothing by making you frustrated and annoyed. I didn't know a movie could do that. Congratulations to them for shwoing me how it is possible to almost kill you with a movie.
Funny write up, Beaks. Ted Wass like a mothefuck…LOLz!! Seriously, in a series with as many lows as highs, it's gotta be a drag to be the benchmark of suck! (Thanks to this tool, Arkin, Benigni, & Martin are safe)
If I ever hear the words "Wanna watch 'Date/Epic Movie" come out of someone's mouth, it will mean I've truly lost myself to a world of unwashed souls. Possible titles for the future of this franchise: War Movie, Family Movie, Musical Movie, and Christmas Movie. I'd actually be morbidly curious about Musical Movie, if only to see how bad the original music could get. This might explain my need to see 'Repo: The Genetic Opera'…
I have failed you.
I'm ashamed to say that "Meet the Spartans" opened at #1 spot here in Italy too, last w-end.
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